2 Cosmopolitans Please
by anonvagabond
Summary: Regina knew this was a horrible idea. She could kick Red out of her house, and she would never come back, because they never do. No. No. She wasn't going to do that, she wasn't going to push her away, Red didn't even want to be let in, she just wanted to go for drinks. Outlaw Queen OTP & Red Queen Brotp, post season 3 finale.
1. First and Second Chance

_a/n: be patient, you shall see outlaw queen in part 2, i just needed to get things started_

She had seen her walk in to her place of work. She sat in her usual spot, and ordered her usual cup of coffee "black, like my soul" she whispered, but Ruby heard her.

She knew what happened, from one day to the next Regina's entire demeanor had changed. Just yesterday she came in with Robin wearing a shy but evident smile, but now she reverted back to the cold expressions she used to wear as the Evil Queen.

The truth is she had grown to tolerate Regina, maybe even to a certain extent enjoy her company. She was witty when she wasn't trying to kill her best friend. If Snow could forgive Regina, so could she. She knew how Regina was feeling. Sure, she had never gone out of her way to kill anyone, but she had blood on her hands and she still felt awful about it. She killed the man she loved back in the enchanted forest, and it left a hole in her heart much like the one Regina had.

She heard the jingle of the door opening and turned around. Emma was coming in with Hook. Everywhere she looked, there were happy couples smiling. Love is a bitch; she sympathized with the former Evil Queen.

"Hey Red! I heard what happened, you okay?" asked Emma while embracing her. She could feel the pity radiating off of Emma. She hated that. She hated sad looks people gave her, she hated the way people pouted and tilted their head when they found out.

Under the curse, she and Whale had hit it off, but ever since their return to Storybrooke, things had been off, and he broke up with her. Under the curse Whale had been infatuated with Ruby, but that probably had something to do with the way she was dressed. Afterwards, they never got the time to know one another fully with all the distractions of the Wicked Witch. Other than superficial attraction, there was nothing there, and even that started to fade. She started to change the way she dressed. she didn't need male approval; she began to dress for herself. Granny still thought her attire was inappropriate, but even she admitted it was more modest than before.

"Yeah" Ruby sighed "It happens" It was probably for the best she thought, Whale was an asshole.

Emma smiled "You'll be fine, you're hot, and who wouldn't want a piece of that. Plus I heard you're and animal in bed" she laughed at her own joke.

Even Ruby couldn't help but laugh. That was the problem though; everyone only ever looked at her outsides. She knew she could walk in to a room and have every male (and sometimes female) pair of eyes on her. She always attracted attention, but no one ever got to know her for who she really was.

Before Ruby could warn her, Emma walked away and approached Regina. _Bad move. She's in a horrible mood._

She immediately heard Regina snap "Go away Miss Swan, you've done enough."

Emma shot Ruby a look. Ruby loved Emma, but she understood Regina's frustration. She approached Emma and placed her hand on her back "Give her time" she whispered.

The diner cleared out after the breakfast rush, but Regina remained sitting silently lost in thought. Ruby took a damp towel and wiped coffee stains left behind by costumers.

"You okay to stay alone with her? I want to nap before the lunch rush" asked Granny.

Regina rolled her eyes. Even after saving them from Zelena they still looked at her the same way Marian did. It was pathetic. Did they all think that she would revert back to the Evil Queen so quickly? Sure she was pulling some of her old moves; the dark clothes, dark makeup, mean stare- but she had changed. That's all they would ever see when they looked at her, she thought. She would walk in a room, and every pair of eyes would be on her, she could feel their anxiety and fear. That used to give the Evil Queen a thrill, but not Regina.

"Yes, I'll be fine" Ruby said as Granny walked away.

Ruby knew that Regina's _feelings_ were probably hurt by that, so she approached her cautiously because unlike Ruby, Regina bites.

"You okay, Regina?"

Regina shot her a cold stare. "What do you care? Go take yourself for a walk. Better yet, check please"

"Of come one Regina, don't be like that. I wasn't the one who brought Marian back. I know you need someone to talk to. It's either me or Snow who is a bottle of positivity. I know what it's like to lose the ones you love."

"Do you now? I am my own undoing, this is my fault. Do you also know how that feels?" Regina snapped back. The hole in her heart was her fault. Sure she had Henry, and that was really all she ever needed, but it was Robin who got in to the deepest darkest parts of her being, who had taken all her walls down.

Ruby frowned "I killed my first love"

Regina turned and gave her a blank stare. "Maybe we have more in common than I thought".

"I told you" Ruby said giving Regina a empathetic smile.

"Well, it doesn't matter; I don't like to talk about my issues with others." She said coldy

Ruby smiled "do you like to drink about them?"

Regina let out an amused yet sarcastic laugh; "I don't day drink"

Before Ruby's brain had time to process her answer, she let out "Who said anything about day-drinking? I'm at work. Let's go out for drinks later tonight."

"Thanks, but no thanks." Regina got up and left a 20$ bill on the table.

As Regina left, Ruby stood there frozen, not knowing where that came from. The Queen had let her off the hook by saying no, but she remembered Snow saying that you need to push yourself in to Regina's life, because she will never offer you an invitation. She wasn't sure where she was planning to go with this when she asked, but she figured it was worth a shot. Red was proud of herself, she was giving the Evil Queen a second chance, and Regina a first one.

For the rest of her shift, Ruby contemplated what she was going to do. She knew that Regina would not be the one to approach her; she would be the one to have to go get her. But then again, is this what she wanted, drinks with the Evil Queen? She was definitely going to stay away from apple martinis. She kept on pondering whether or not she was going to go through with this. She continued to serve clients absentmindedly.

At the end of her shift she reached a decision, she was going to drag Regina to the bar with her. She went upstairs, got changed and headed off to the Queen's mansion.

—-

As Regina walked home, she was utterly confused by Ruby's invitation. Sure they had been in each other's company in the Enchanted Forest, but they had not become friends. She was completely blindsided by the invitation, and was not accustomed to that feeling. Then again, it was probably done out of pity, and she knew the wolf wouldn't show, not that she wanted her to. That was the last thought she had given it.

Henry was with Emma this week, so she would have the house to herself. A nice bubble bath would do.

Regina arrived at home and set off for her bathroom. She turned on the water and poured soap in to the bath. She poured herself a glass of wine and got in. Afterwards she sat in front of the television and watched "The Notebook".

She must have dozed off because she was startled by the doorbell. Regina got up off the couch, still dressed in her bathrobe she headed for the door. Who the hell was disturbing her peace?

She swung the door open "What!"

It took her a moment to realize who was standing before her. Apparently she did a poor job at hiding the shock in her eyes because Ruby said "Surprised to see me?"

"Well, yes" Regina admitted.

"Why, I said we would go out for drinks didn't i?"

"Yes, but I also recall politely declining your offer"

"That was polite? Geez, and we call Leroy Grumpy" she chuckled

Regina stood there for a moment, she was honestly stunned. Why the hell was Ruby being so nice to her? Snow she could understand, but Ruby?

"I said no. And even if I wanted to, I'm not dressed for it" she pointed to her bathrobe.

"Wow, you haven't been out in a while. Regina, its 8pm on a Friday, the night is still young, you have time".

Regina paused, she looked in to Ruby's puppy dog eyes _literally_ and they were begging her.

"Fine."

Ruby was almost as shocked as Regina had been when she showed up at her door.

Regina opened the door ever so slightly, when Ruby grabbed the handle and pushed herself in; just like Snow said.

"Make yourself comfortable, I guess" Regina felt like she was in a dream. She walked up the stairs, entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

She dried her hair, applied makeup and put on a simple black dress. As she descended the stairs, she saw Ruby coming towards her.

"Yes Ruby?"

"Where do you think you're going looking like that? A funeral? Come on, I'm sure you have something a little more sexy."

Regina was slightly shocked by her boldness.

"Oh come on Regina, your outfits in the enchanted forest showed all kinds of cleavage. We won't show anyone anything they haven't already seen" she said with a smirk.

Regina reluctantly let Ruby follow her upstairs. She opened her closet and watched Red look at her dresses one by one.

"You know, I don't have anything remotely sexy. I'm the mayor, not a harlot."

Red shot her a look; "we'll find something" she paused "yes, this"

She picked up a tight black dress with a plunging neckline. She then picked up a pair of gorgeous black heels with red bottoms. "This will do"

Regina went in to the bathroom and changed in to her new outfit "Zip me?" she asked shyly. _Pull yourself together Regina_

Red zipped up the back and turned Regina around "Perfect!" she exclaimed.

—

"Okay, we both look fine as hell, let's go"

Regina hesitated. She knew this was a horrible idea. Though Red was trying her best to be kind and act normal towards her, it was still awkward. She could back out now if she wanted to. She could kick Red out of her house, and she would never come back, because they never do. No. No. She wasn't going to do that, she wasn't going to push her away, Red didn't even want to be let in, she just wanted to go for drinks. Regina looked up and realized she had been lost in thought.

"Okay, let's go." she agreed

They exited the house and Regina started walking towards her car.

"Um, what are you doing?"

Regina gave Red a quizzical look "What?"

"You're not driving. If you drive you can't drink" Ruby said firmly "and you're going to drink"

Regina was impressed with the wolf's responsibility.

"Okay, let's walk; the Black Rabbit is 5 minutes from here."

The walk there was silent. They were both lost in thought. Ruby was still replaying Snow's words; you guys are actually so alike. Regina on the other hand wanted to throw up, every fiber of her being was telling her this wasn't a good idea.

TBC. part 2 is more "exciting" and it features our favourite couple


	2. Let's Go

_a/n: had to cut this chapter in two because it was way too long. Thank you so so much for the follows and reviews. I really love writing about these two because I feel like they have so much in common. __Et pour le commentaire en français n'inquiète pas je parle français. _

They walked in to the bar and it fell silent. Every eye was on the Red and The Evil Queen. Some eyes had lust, others had fear. Regina assumed that the lustful eyes were directed towards Red, and the fear, well, that was all her.

"God, people are obvious" muttered Red  
>"I'm used to it" chuckled Regina "After all, as the Evil Queen I demanded all eyes on me. Well, no eye contact of course." Ruby couldn't help but role her eyes at that last comment.<p>

Red grabbed Regina's hand, "come" she pulled her toward a table at the back.

A shaky waiter appeared "hi, I, uh, what can I get you guys" he looked like he was going to piss himself.

Regina hesitated and looked at Ruby who was feeling confident and ordered for the Queen "Two cosmopolitans please"

There was an awkward silence when he left.

"I swear it'll be easier when we have alcohol in our systems." Ruby said while looking down.

And she was right, 4 drinks later Ruby and Regina were getting along famously.

"So, why did you REALLY invite me out tonight?" Regina said while giving Ruby a half smile and an arched eyebrow. She was talking loudly over the music, but she didn't seem to notice.

Ruby giggled "Snow didn't put me up to this, if that's what you're thinking. Although, if it weren't for her, I probably never would have asked. She said to give you a chance. I heard and saw what happened. That morning at the diner you looked so sad, so, well... broken. I've been there"

"You?" Regina shot her a confused look. "Darling I'm a monster, or was one, but everyone still sees me as one. Finally, I get a second chance, and it blows up in my face"

"You want to talk about monsters" Ruby sighed "I'm a wolf" she said lifting her hands in the air. She proceeded to yell out asking for 2 more drinks.

The drinks arrived and Regina lifted her tequila shot "to monstrosities" she said while burying her head in her hand. She shot back her drink; she felt the tequila burn her throat. There was something soothing, almost healing about the burning sensation.

By the end of the night Regina and Ruby were so plastered that they were hardly able to get up from their seats. Ruby helped Regina up while giggling. Their cheeks were flushed, and a thin layer of sweat covered their foreheads; they both looked like a hot mess which is exactly what they were.

"So, what do I owe you?" Regina slurred to the bartender

"Nothing. People were fighting to pay for your tab."

For some reason this made Regina feel great. Both women left the black rabbit and once were outside looked around.

"I swear I have no idea where I'm going" Ruby said while laughing. "I really need to sit."

She and Regina walked to a bench on the sidewalk. They inhaled the frosty air.

"You know, Snow was right." Ruby said with a high pitched voice. She was drunk enough to let go of her inhibitions because she leaned her head on the Evil Queen. Regina stiffened up for a moment, but the alcohol was overriding her protective wall.

"Was she? Snow's many things, but she's hardly ever right" Even in her drunken state Regina was sassy as ever.

"We've been through so many of the same things. Both our mothers were crazy, both our first loves are dead, and we're both judged by our outside"

Regina say quietly processing Ruby's words. She was right. Of course, Regina had don't far worse things than Ruby, but the jest of it was there "I guess you're right" she muttered "I really never thought anyone could know how I feel" just as she was about to get sentimental, Regina began barfing.

She and Ruby started laughing hysterically. "I guess you have an allergic reaction to feelings. Come on, let's get you home".

Both women leaned on each other; the blind leading the blind, or in this case the drunk.

"Thank you" said Regina while smiling  
>"No problem, we're gonna have to do this again." <p>

Regina hesitated, and spoke "You know, I would hate for you to walk home alone. Come inside. I'll lend you pajamas and you can sleep here" _what the hell are you thinking. The wolf doesn't want to have a sleepover you moron. _But her thoughts were no use, she had already spoken.

Ruby was taken aback by Regina's invitation. She could always handle herself, she was a wolf after all, but she accepted nonetheless.

Regina handed her pajamas. But it was no use, Ruby had already fallen asleep on the couch, and Regina was too drunk to get up or use magic to get herself to her bedroom. So she layed down on the floor and fell asleep.

-  
>Ruby woke up with the sound of Regina grunting. She looked down and found Regina on the floor. She could help smile "you okay there?"<p>

"I think I'm dead."

"Wouldn't that make people happy" Ruby chuckled. She felt an intense pain in the front of her head. Hangovers.

Ruby left before Regina could make breakfast because she had to get to the diner. Regina spent the morning [and afternoon] in bed sleeping off the wretched hangover. Regina had never had female friends before, or male for the matter. Come to think of it, she never had friends at all. In the past she had Jefferson, Maleficent, and a few others, but they were mostly frenemies or needed her for something. Ruby was Regina's first "friend".

-  
>"So, I heard you and Regina had a good time?" Ruby gasped. She hated it when her ex-bandit friend snuck up on her.<p>

"Snow, lower your voice. My head is pounding"

Snow chuckled "see, told you she wasn't all that bad"

-

A week went by, and on Friday night, Ruby texted Regina

Ruby: _you up for drinks again?_

Regina: _I guess so, my body finally recovered_.

Ruby: _Remind me never to get old. Okay, see you at 8._

Regina couldn't help but laugh.

This became a weekly routine. Regina and Ruby would hit the small town every Friday. This worked out because Regina had Henry during the week, and Emma had him on the weekends. For once in her life she found a perk of co-parenting.

This particular night, Regina was wearing a leather skirt with a lace tank top tucked in. Thank God Henry didn't see her like this; she couldn't handle the embarrassment. Since these weekend activities had become a lifestyle, Regina had thought it best to buy clothes to fit the part.

"Damn sister, you look HAWT" Ruby said while shoving Regina

Regina laughed while putting on her coat "Let's not get too excited."

They began walking to the black Rabbit, and that's when he saw them, when he saw her.

God she looked beautiful. He was happy to see her she wasn't hiding away in her house from everyone, no, just him. He had tried to approach her time after time but she wouldn't hear it. He had cornered her in Granny's but she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. He hoped she was okay, but he knew he had no right to ask, after all, he made his choice.

**Spoiler:** Next chapter they're going to have a heart-to-heart. I want to stay true to Regina and I know she wouldn't open up about deep wounds right away. Also some Robin and Regina interaction wuhuuuuu


	3. Virginia and Veronica

a/n: warning, a little bit of swearing. Regina and Ruby are feisty when drunk. Et n'inquiète pas, Robin va voire Regina dans tous sa gloire d'ivre.

When Regina and Ruby entered the black rabbit they took a seat at the bar. Regina no longer felt the need to hide in the back, this was her place, and these were her people. She was queen of this bar; and she knew it. Without saying anything the bartender placed two cosmopolitans on the bar for the two women.

"You're looking extra beautiful tonight, your majesty" the bartender said while winking. "and you Ruby, sexy per usual". Both women rolled their eyes, but they had gotten used to the raunchy and semi-sarcastic compliments.

"If only my mother could see me now. Drinking among peasants, accepting sexist compliments without reacting. She's probably rolling in her grave, wishing Zelena had killed me. Yup, I'm sure she would rather have me dead than fraternizing with peasants" Regina said while laughing.

Normally Ruby would have been offended by being called a peasant, but she had grown used to it, and knew Regina meant to harm. "Cora seems lovely" Ruby said while rolling her eyes.

"Yes, well, she was a woman without a heart, what more could do you expect?"

Ruby shot Regina a look of pity.

"Don't think I didn't see that. No pity, remember the rules." Regina turned the bartender "Jack, more alcohol, Ruby is getting sentimental."

Ruby laughed "It's just, without her heart, was she able to feel? Did you know there was something missing when you were a child?"

Regina snorted "Ha. Cora once kept me in a magical bind for a whole day because I refused to bend to her will. She mentally and sometimes physically tortured me. She married me off to someone SHE was supposed to marry many years before. I was a bride to someone who was old enough to be my father. She kept me pure for him, so that he could rip away something I wanted to give to my love, to Daniel. Oh, and then there was that incident where she ripped Daniel's heart out in front of me. Good times."

"Wow, she really fucked you up" said Ruby while turning around to order a tray full of shots.

"That's one way to put it" Regina muttered. "And what about you, your mother was the big bad wolf?"

"My mother made me feel accepted, until I figured out she was in some kind of messed up wolf cult. She tried to kill my friend so I had no choice but to kill her."

"Another thing we have in common, killing our parents. Well, I did it twice, but the second time was accidental." Regina picked up the shots "to mother's ruining our lives". She licked the salt off her hand, lifted the shot glass to her mouth and put her head bad while feeling the tequila burn her throat; healing her, numbing her. She lifted the lemon wedge and sucked on it.

"You know, everyone thinks I'm a tight-ass because I'm Queen. That's only part of the reason. My mother trained me to be ladylike no matter the cost. How do you think I perfected my Evil Queen glare? That's right out of Cora's book. "

"Shit, I've been on the receiving end of that, not pleasant. She knew what she was doing."

"It's always been about looks with me. God forbid I would have been an ugly child, my mother would have left me on a mountain." Regina said while laughing

"Oh I know that feeling. Of course I didn't have a mother trading me like a playing card, but it's always been about looks with me. No one ever seems to be interested in me, the real me. But you know how that feels" Ruby said while looking down.

"I'm too sober for this. JACK! Two more" Regina said while clumsily leaning over the counter. "Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Beauty is a curse and a blessing. But getting judged by the outside, that's something I know.

"How do you do it, forgive yourself for killing your father?" It sounded like Ruby was asking for advice, but Regina would have none of it.

"Ruby, you killed you mother because you had to. You don't need forgiveness, what you did was noble and brave. You need to fight the darkness every day, because once it gets a hold on you, it never lets go. I killed my father to cast a ghastly curse that left a hole the size of this town in my heart. I was a pawn in my mother and Rumple's sick twisted game. I can never forgive myself. My father, Cora, Zelena; all gone. I have no family. Mind you, Zelena wasn't exactly sister material, but she could have been fixed, I could have helped her. I could have helped her like Snow, Henry and Robin helped me. Not that it did any good in the long run." Regina looked down in attempt to try and hide the tears falling from her face. She hadn't told anyone about the immense amount of pain she felt when Zelena died. She saw herself in Zelena; a confused women who needed a second chance.

"Henry, he used to be mine, all mine, but now I share him. Robin, he used to be mine, a part of me. They always leave. No one ever stays." She stopped. She didn't want to lose control, not here, not like this.

Ruby placed her hand on Regina. "Regina, I won't leave you. I'm your friend now." Regina looked at her, giving her a half-smile. She knew this wasn't something Ruby could promise, because they always left.

Regina cupped Ruby's face "You're not too far gone. You're one of the kindest people I've met, you are much more than what meets the eye. You deserve to be treated like a precious jewel, not a piece of meat. Stay away from assholes like Whale, and forgive yourself Ruby, for my sake, let go of your past."

Ruby was stunned. She didn't know Regina could be so eloquent and caring. They both sat in silence for a little while trying to hold back the drunken and sentimental tears.

Suddenly the wolf's head snapped up "I have an idea"

Regina lifted her head and shot her a quizzical look. "What?"

"Let's do something crazy!"

Regina sighed while slouching forward "This is already crazy for me."

"No. tonight we forget everything. We let go of the past, we will be re-born, just for tonight. You're no longer Regina. Tonight you're Virginia, and I'll be Veronica." Ruby said while throwing her hands in the air. "MORE DRINKS!"

The glimpse he caught of her wasn't enough, he wanted more. He knew exactly where she would be, so he left the forest and made his way to the Black Rabbit. He peered through the window. He couldn't believe what he saw; Regina Mills dancing on the table. Not any kind of dance, she was showing off her gorgeous figure in that tight leather skirt and black lace top. Right next to her was Ruby whose hands were thrown up in the air. He took a step back. He could not fathom what was happening.

He walked in and heard the two drunken women screaming. He saw the way men were looking at his soul mate, and he couldn't bare it.

"Regina! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Regina turned around, but suddenly Ruby grabbed her "No, you're not Regina, you're Virginia!"

He approached her. "Regina, please, you're too drunk to understand what's happening right now, get down." He said while grabbing her hand.

"LET GO OF ME, thief. I am not Regina I'm Virginia" she said while the men cheered her on. She would have no recollection of this in the morning.

Robin shot her a genuine look of concern. His eyes were glassy; he was in so much pain. "Don't you see the way they're looking at you? Regina come down! You too Ruby!"

"They're gonna stare anyway sweetheart, may as well give them something to look at" she said with a smirk. But inside she was breaking, ripping at the seams. She had worked so hard to numb the pain, for her and for him. He had no right to tell her what she could and could not do; he made his choice, and a poor one at that.

"Is he bothering you, Virginia" asked Jack

"Yes, very much, get him the hell out of here!" and with that, a group of men pushed Robin out of the bar.

Robin was furious. Regina or Virginia had rendered him completely and utterly furious. How could she be so foolish? Had she forgotten about her son? What would Henry think? What would anyone think? Regina-prim-and-proper-mills was practically giving men lap dances. He wondered what was going through her mind. He heard she and Ruby had become friends, and at first he thought it was a good thing, but now he was starting to see the toxicity of their relationship. Both women had been rejected, judged by their outsides, called horrible names. He suddenly felt a tinge of guilt, he knew that he contributed to some of that pain, that this was some way his fault. But he didn't know what to do; he didn't even know how she was feeling. She had been avoiding him like the plague. At first he felt her, but as time faded, so did her feeling. He wondered why that was; did she no longer love him? He knew it was selfish to think like that, after all, he made his choice and now she was free to do whatever she wanted. But he couldn't let her go because he still loved her; his love for her ran deep within his soul. He would not stand for this, so he went to the only person he knew could help.

He knocked on the door, and rang the doorbell.

The brunette opened the door looking groggy and confused. "Robin? Its 2am what are you doing here?"

"I need your help"

"Screw being a lady. Ruby, I've never felt so free." At 3am Regina and Ruby left the bar.

"Regina- I mean Virginia, you have no idea what this means to me." She stood there silently looking at her in the eyes. The smell of alcohol was seeping from her pores "You understand me like no one else, and I can't thank you enough for that".

They drunkenly roamed the streets with unsteady footsteps, singing and yelling profanities. Their behavior caused dogs to bark and people to yell from their windows; but they didn't care. Tonight Virginia and Veronica were free.

Once again Ruby was awoken by the sound of Regina groaning. She had no idea how they got home. She inhaled the smell of Regina's house, except, it wasn't Regina's house.

Regina looked around and shot up "Where the hell are we?!" It only took her seconds to realize that she and Ruby were in jail.


	4. Regina Mills does NOT get arrested

"Oh! You're both up, I'm glad."

Regina and Ruby were experiencing a massive headache, and Snow White's perky voice was anything but helpful.

"Snow, for the love of all that is good, keep your voice down" muttered Ruby

Regina was far too dizzy to stay sitting up, so she let herself fall back in to the dirty cot.

"I thought you would feel like that, so here" Snow approached the cell and gave Ruby two water bottles and Advil for her and Regina.

Regina's hand was covering her eyes as she tried to block out the sun that was seeping through the window in to her cell. She grabbed the Advil and water from Ruby with her free hand, and swallowed the pills without opening her eyes.

"Snow" Regina said in a low and irritated voice "Why the hell am I in a jail cell?"

As Snow was about to answer, Regina lifted her free hand to stop her from talking "Whatever is about to come out of your mouth better be a whisper, or I swear I will incinerate you."

Snow frowned and whispered "You and Ruby, or should I say Veronica, were arrested last night for being drunk and disorderly, and disturbing the peace."

Regina lifted her hand from her eyes, exposing them to the cold air. She sat up slowly, looked at Ruby, then at Snow "You're kidding me right" she straightened up "I am Regina Mills, I DO NOT GET ARRESTED"

"Woah, Regina, lower your voice a little" Ruby said while patting her friend on the back.

A phone began to ring. Snow looked down and placed her hand in her vibrating pocket "Give me a second, I need to get this" she said while walking away.

Regina jumped up and placed her hands on the jail bars "DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY. I WILL KILL YOU"

Snow laughed "I've heard that one before" she shouted while leaving the room.

Regina spun around and looked at Ruby who was dying of laughter.

"Ruby, what the hell happened? I have no recollection of what happened, do you?"

"Regina the last thing I remember was you getting up to dance on the bar and pulling me up with you"

Regina wanted to faint. _I did what?_ She looked down at her outfit; _oh my God I look like a common street whore. _She wanted nothing more than to drop dead.

"Dancing on the bar? Oh the shame. What I wouldn't give for another sleeping curse right now." she said while placing her forehead in her palm to cover the look of humiliation. She envisioned Cora screaming at her, and suddenly her headache worsened.

"You're going to have to conjure up a memory potion or something, because I need to remember that" Ruby demanded "I didn't know the elderly danced on bars". The wolf laughed at her own joke, and couldn't help but notice that Regina chuckled silently.

Regina scowled at her. "So, do I bust us out, or do we do this by the book?" she asked while stretching her fingers.

Right as she was about to work her magic, Mary Margret came in with her husband. Regina rolled her eyes.

"A family business I see. What's next? Henry is going to hear my case while baby Neal prosecutes me?"

Ruby couldn't hold in the laughter, she knew Regina was beyond annoyed but if she didn't want Ruby to laugh she needed to stop with the excessive sarcasm.

"Oh shut up Regina. You two put on quite the spectacle last night. I must say, I did not know such profane language existed in your vocabulary." Snow was using her teacher voice which caused both Ruby and Regina to groan while rolling their eyes as back as humanly possible.

"Enough! Now release Ruby and I or I'll do it myself."

"Oh no you don't" David cut in. "Bail hasn't been set, and time hasn't been served" he couldn't help but smirk. Though they had gotten over their issues, David loved to annoy Regina.

"Shit! Guys, cut the crap, I need to get to the diner before Granny kills me."

Regina waved her hand in front of Ruby and produced purple smoke. "Something to help you feel rejuvenated for a while longer." Ruby's headache was gone, and she felt better than ever.

"Having a witch as a best friend is the best thing ever" Ruby said while beaming.

Snow looked at Ruby and then at Regina; _best friend?_

As if Regina could read what was going through her mind, she shot her a look; _jealous are we?_

Regina felt dizzy. She was paying the price for Ruby's rejuvenation, but it was okay, because she apparently was going to spend the next couple of hours in this cell anyway. Even if the un-charmings let her go, she had no energy to move.

David unlocked the cell "Okay Ruby, _you're_ free to go"

"I sense bias in the court system" she muttered. "Usually I'm the one abusing power."

Ruby laughed "I'll call you later" while leaving the Sherriff's station, David left with her offering to give her a ride to work.

Regina looked away. "Henry, does he..?"

"No, don't worry, he's with Emma right now." Snow said sympathetically. This wasn't like Regina. Even when she was a little girl and Regina was in pain, she never drank her problems away. She wanted to comfort her stepmother, and be there for her but she was at a loss for words. Both women sat there in silence listening to the hum of the electricity.

Regina was slouching burying her head in her hands. Slouching, she would have to add that to another thing Cora would be disappointed in. Cora, Zelena. She realized this was the last place she had ever seen Zelena. Her sister was a psychopath, there was no doubt about it, but she had deserved a second chance. She hadn't gotten the time to talk to her. She was her last living relative, and that meant something.

Snow heard Regina sniffle, and immediately approached the cell. "You okay?"

"Get. Out." Regina used her Evil Queen voice and Snow knew she shouldn't trifle with that.

She slowly got up and walked away. "If you need anything, I'll be a phone call away. I assume you'll let yourself out when you're ready".

Regina lay back down. She closed her eyes and let the darkness consume her as she fell asleep.

/

The Queen woke up to the sound of footsteps and the smell of forest. She knew exactly who was invading her space. Every fibre of her being was telling her to play dead, maybe he would go away. Her hopes were futile and she knew it. He was just as stubborn as her, that was one pf the reasons they were so well matched. She suddenly felt an ache in her heart. She was sober, nothing to numb the pain. She let anger build up inside of her to distract herself from the hurt. She was on fire, she the furry flow through her veins. She got up slowly but dramatically, she perfected her posture and looked the thief in the eye

"You. It was you."

"Hello Regina, or should I say Virginia?" he said coyly.

/

After the lunch rush, which Ruby had survived courtesy of Regina, she smelled a familiar scent coming through the door. Without turning her head she spoke "Snow"

"Hey Ruby"

There was an awkward silence between them. Ruby didn't know why exactly Snow was there, but she could take a guess.

Snow broke the silence "How you feeling?"

Dumb question, thought Ruby. Snow was there when Regina made Snow feel better at the cost of her own energy fading.

"Fine, Regina sure does know her magic" she said with a smirk

Snow let out a forced laugh "Yeah. I guess she does." She paused. The silence enveloped both women as they were waiting for the inevitable conversation to start.

"So, I see you and Regina have been getting really close" and there it is, thought Ruby.

"Yes, I suppose."

"The broken have a way of fixing each other in a way no one else can" Snow immediately felt a twinge of regret spread though her body. _Broken, Snow, really?!_

"I would hardly call either of us broken. Regina is the strongest woman I know; she's just having a tough time. She's fine. I'm fine. We're fine." Ruby snapped. She hadn't meant for her words to come out so sharply, but they did. She was not about to let anyone call her or Regina broken. They knew nothing about them. Sure Snow knew Regina, but not in the way Ruby had.

"Yeah, sorry, poor choice of words"

"Snow, I know you're here for a reason, spit it out"

"I'm worried about you guys!" She whined in her motherly voice. Ruby knew that if Regina were here she would have slapped her for using that awful tone of voice. The thought caused the wolf to smirk.

"Why?" Ruby bitterly "We're grown ass women, I don't need you hovering over me, and neither does she."

"Ruby, you didn't see yourselves last night. You didn't see Regina last night. Do you not see what she's going through? Look at the way she's dressing! This isn't like her, and you would be foolish to ignore it!"

"So that's what this is about? Regina? If you're so concerned with Regina go talk to HER." The wolf snapped.

Snow sighed. "I'm concerned about the both of you. You guys were acting crazy last night. If rob-" Snow paused. Damnit. She wasn't supposed to say that Robin had found them. "-if someone hadn't found you, you could have been seriously injured".

So, it was the thief who tattled on them. Regina would definitely not be pleased to hear this. There was something comforting in Regina's anger. It was predictable, powerful, and passionate. Even if it was the wrong emotions, Ruby never met anyone who felt as deeply as Regina.

"Whatever. Listen Snow, I need to get back to work"

"Ruby, what happened?" Snow was addressing the obvious tension between the two of them. "I know why Regina is like this, but you, this isn't you either. You have Whale-"

"Whale and I broke up." Interrupted Ruby.

Snow tilted her head, opened her eyes and pouted "aww Ruby I'm so sorry"

At that moment Ruby felt her breakfast rise to her throat. She was going to be sick. She expected those looks of pity from everyone, but not Snow. Snow should have known how much she hated that look. She glared at Snow.

For a moment, Snow was frozen in place. She knew that look. She had nightmares about that look. That was Reg- The Evil Queen look. This friendship was toxic. Regina had become a party girl like Ruby, and Ruby had become angry like Regina. She knew there was nothing she could do. Anything she said would be counter-productive. She would give them their space and invite them over for dinner, or parley. Not that the last parley with Regina had gone too well.

/

Looking at her, he didn't know how he had conjured up the strength to ever let her go. Not that it was by choice. When he saw his wife he ran and took her in to his arms. He only remembered Regina a minute or so later. But after that minute sans-Regina, his mind would never rid him of her again. Even in her hungover state, with messy hair, looking pale, her majesty was as beautiful as ever.

He quickly remembered the events of last night; seeing her dancing on the bar, waving her hands in the air smiling and laughing. To any outsider she looked happy and carefree, but he knew better. At that moment he realized what he had done to her, he saw no happiness in her eyes. She looked sadder than he had ever seen her, and he was to blame. His heart ached for her, and he was sure she felt it.

"You. It was you."

He wasn't expecting her to be the one to break the silence, but alas she had and he had been caught.

"Hello Regina, or should I say Virginia?" he said coyly.

**Don't hate me for ending it there. I promise they're going to talk(ish) next chapter. Thank you guys so much for your wonderful reviews, follows, and favorite; they push to get my shit together and write. Just to be clear, the relationship between Regina and Ruby is strictly platonic so don't read in to anything too much. Ruby admires Regina because she's never met anyone like her; passionate but cold, sassy, strong, but also (and I hate to use this word) broken. **

**Spoiler: the next chapter has already been written and it's going to get angsty so prepare yourselves. **


	5. I am Not Broken

"Go away, you're the LAST person I want to see right now"

She knew saying that would hurt Robin, and she wanted him to hurt. She looked away. She didn't want him to hurt, because his hurt was her hurt. _Soul mate bullshit._

"Regina you and I both know that's not true."

She was entirely too sober for this. The 2 months of numbness was catching up to her. She felt the pain rushing through her heart; it felt like someone was crushing it. The pain was severe, because Robin winced too. She couldn't handle this. She needed a bottle of gin and an escape plan.

As if he read her mind "Regina, don't run. Please, I'm worried about you."

"You lost your right to an opinion when you bumped me down to your second choice, to your ex-lover." She meant for her words to be sharp like knives, and they were. It was hard to keep the evil queen glare going when her chest was physically aching. She was experiencing shortness of breath. She was sure she going to pass out.

"Regina! Don't you dare say that, you know it's not like that. I am bound by honor; you know that. That's one of the things you love…" he paused "loved about me."

_Loved? Who is he kidding? Love. _She looked around. This place was too painful, memories of Zelena, and Robin being here, seeing her like this; it was too much. She stood up and felt his eyes on her. She knew he was taking her in, and she felt embarrassed. She knew he saw through this outfit and her façade just like he had seen through her outfits in the Enchanted Forest. She felt naked. Naked and ashamed. She felt vulnerable ad she hated it. She had spent decades trying to escape feelings of vulnerability and weakness. She broke the silence, her voice filled the room.

"Robin I-" and with that she disappeared in a cloud of smoke landing a couple of blocks from her house

"-love you" she confessed in a whisper. But there was no one there to hear her.

She inhaled the crisp autumn air. She looked up at the trees without leaves, they reminded her of herself. They were alive, but had been stripped of their beauty. She heard the dry leaves crunch under her boots. _I feel your pain_ she thought. Much like her boots on the dry dead leaves, life was coming down hard on her and she could do nothing but sit there and let herself be crushed.

This afternoon was cooler than yesterday, and the cold wind collided with her neck. She had probably lost her scarf during her drunken escapades which was a piss-off because it was Valentino. She would have used magic to get herself home, but she needed the fresh air. She knew her walk of solitude was rather dramatic in a theatrical sort of way; the evil queen within loved dramatics.

As she arrived home she undressed in the doorway and crawled in to bed. Her friend Jack Daniels was waiting for her on the nightstand. She drank straight from the bottle because the pain was unbearable. _Darling, you're pathetic. If you're going to slip in to world of alcoholism, you could do it with some grace; use a glass. _She shuddered at the sound of her mother's voice in her head. She let the whiskey burn her throat as she fell asleep.

/

She was awoken by a crack in the floorboard. She looked at the doorway and saw her friend carrying her pile of clothes. She had given Ruby the key to her house since she was practically living there every weekend. Ruby looked at her with eyes of concern.

"I saw him" she muttered

"Oh Regina" she said empathically. Regina appreciated the fact that Ruby hadn't tilted her head and given her sad eyes, otherwise she would have been forced to set her on fire. Ruby didn't offer Regina pity, she offered her comfort, and Regina was eternally grateful.

Ruby dropped Regina's clothes on the floor and sat on the Queen's bed. She pulled Regina's arm and Regina sat up. Ruby held her friend tightly as Regina collapsed in her arms. She let the moments pass.

"Regina, you're freezing" she looked down and realized Regina was only wearing a shirt, his shirt. She left her friend for a moment to grab an oversized sweater out of her duffle bag and helped Regina put it on. Regina had many things, but comfortable fluffy clothing wasn't one of them. According to Regina, monarchs don't wear sweatpants.

Regina placed her head on Ruby's shoulder and began to sob silently. If it weren't for the movement in her body, Ruby would have never known Regina was crying. The Queen had long since perfected the art of crying silently. _Queens don't cry Regina. _Regina cringed. Lately her mother had been haunting her, and she couldn't put a stop to it.

"Ruby I thought I could do it, but I can't. I miss him so much it hurts."

Regina reached for the bottle of Jack, but Ruby's hand intercepted.

"No. Not tonight. Sometimes you need to feel the pain to remember what you're fighting for."

And with that Regina looked in to her eyes and saw something so foreign; concern, empathy, kindness. "Thank you." the queen said faintly.

"Regina, you're beautiful, smart and passionate; you'll find someone else"

Regina sat up straight, and started "That's right, I didn't tell you. Not that it matters anyway" she laughed weakly at the irony.

Ruby tilted her head and shot Regina a questioning look "Tell me what? Please tell me you're not pregnant" she regretted that immediately. _Of course she's not pregnant you idiot. She's been drinking non-stop for 3 months. _

"No, nothing that mundane. Robin is my soul mate." She almost chocked on that last word.

"Whaaat?"

"A long time ago, shortly after marrying Leopold I put myself in danger, and Tinkerbelle saved me. Later, she told me I could be happy, that she could help me find love again. She used pixie dust to help me find my soul mate, the man with the lion tattoo; Robin." She stopped speaking in attempt to try and block the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"And, what happened?"

"I did what I always do; I ran away from happiness. It was at that moment my fate of becoming the Evil Queen was sealed in. I ran away from my second chance because I was terrified of being happy. Ever since Daniel's death and my marriage, all I had known was anger; it became a part of who I was."

Before Ruby could say anything, the Queen fell asleep. Ruby went downstairs to cook them supper. Regina looked pale and Ruby assumed she hadn't eaten all day.

Was Snow right? Was Regina not okay. Throughout these whole two months, she had seen some sadness in Regina's eyes, but never this, never a woman who was completely broken. Maybe she missed the signs because of the way that they were dealing with their pain. To be honest, Ruby had forgotten about Whale. Regina had been so kind in giving her advice and helping her move on, Ruby hated that she had not done the same. But she knew it was a different, because Regina was missing a part of her soul. How does one recover from that?

/

"Robin I-" and just like that, she was gone before he had a chance to grab her. Before he had a chance to touch her.

He replayed the words in his mind for hours.

Robin I-  
>Robin I- can't do this<br>Robin I- care for you  
>Robin I- hate you<br>Robin I- need to forget you  
>Robin I- never want to see you again<br>Robin I- love you

Tonight he felt pain in his heart like never before.

"Robin, are you okay" his head jerked up and he looked at his _wife_. He was lost in thought.

"Yes, I'm fine"

"Are you sure, you look sick."

"Just chest pains" he said while rubbing the heart that was supposed to belong to his wife, but belonged to another.

Marian glanced at him suspiciously "Are you sure? Maybe you should go see a doctor."

"No darling, I'll be fine." The only person that could stop this pain was Regina. "I think I should go for a walk." He said while walking away. But before she could escape his wife grabbed his arm.

"Without saying goodbye? Where are your manner" she smiled as she pulled him close to her, planting a kiss on his cheek.

He stiffened up. Why did she feel like he was cheating on Regina? If anything he was cheating on Marian, betraying her with his thoughts. He unintentionally wiped of his wife's kiss. He realized what he had done and turned to see Marian watching him with a suspicious look in her eye.

"I-uh, I didn't want the cold to merge with the wet kiss. Can't get sick you know?"

He knew that she saw right through that, the kiss was dry and without life.

/

"Get up sleepy head; it's time for supper" Ruby whispered while nudging Regina softly. She decided she wasn't going to talk about the soul mate thing because she knew it was too painful for Regina to discuss while sober.

Regina playfully smacked Ruby's head "Where's the snooze button?"

While walking down the stairs, Regina inhaled the scent of burnt. Ruby realized Regina had caught on to her failure of a supper. "I tried, I swear" she mumbled.

Regina sat down and stared at the semi-burnt grilled cheese. "Don't you work at a diner?"

"It's all Granny." Before she could continue, the doorbell rang. She sniffed the air "Snow".

As she turned around she saw Regina envelop herself in a cloud of purple smoke. As the smoke cleared she realized Regina had changed in to dress pants and a blouse. Her hair and makeup were perfect. Her eyes were a little puffy, but nothing too noticeable.

Regina looked at Ruby "What? I can't open my door looking dishevelled." _At least you learned something from me. I would say good job, but your eyes are puffy, and no amount of magic can hide your weakness, sweetheart._ Regina cringed at her mother's voice. This was getting out of hand.

"Yeah but you didn't have to dress like we're having a business meeting either. Don't you own yoga pants, or leggings?"

"HA, I would end up finally killing Snow White before owning _yoga pants_" she shouted while walking away.

She opened her door and stared at her stepdaughter

"Come to arrest me? Where's the rest of the family? I thought you travelled in packs" she snorted

Before Snow could say anything, Ruby shouted hello.

Snow looked through the doorway to see Ruby walking towards them. "Oh good, you're both here. I needed to speak to you both" she paused "Can I come in?"

"Snow White asking for permission before intruding in my life, there's a first for everything"

Snow sighed. As she walked in she smelled the burnt "Did Ruby cook for you?" she said while laughing. She felt a tinge of jealousy. _Ruby used to make me burnt grilled-cheeses. No. Snap out of it, you're here to make peace._

"Mhm. She makes an excellent bartender, but a horrible chef. Speaking of which, would you like a cosmopolitan?"

"No, I need to drive home." She replied

"Suit yourself" said Regina. Her remark was overflowing with sarcasm. "So, what brings you here?"

"I wanted to invite you and Ruby over for Sunday dinner tomorrow."

Regina shot Ruby a look "To what do we owe this honor?"

"I-it's just that, well, I don't know. We haven't spoken in a while. Plus, Henry will be there and you can bring him back to your place for the week."

"Using my son to manipulate me, how original." She snorted

Ruby came back from the kitchen carrying Regina's drinks. "Regina, play nice. She's just trying to reach out to you." She knew tipsy Regina was feisty; she had been on the receiving end of some of her sassy remarks on their drunken escapades. "Thanks for the invite Snow. I'd love to come, and I'm sure Regina would too; right Regina" she asked using her faux-mother voice.

"Fine, mother."

After a little bit of awkward small-talk, Snow left.

/

"Damnit the grilled cheese got cold" muttered Ruby

"I would tell you to re-heat it but I quite like my house and have no interest in seeing it burn to the ground."

Ruby rolled her eyes. As she was about to respond with some clever quip there was a ring at the doorbell.

"I'm quite the socialite tonight, aren't I? It's probably just Snow."

She got up and began to walk towards the door "It's unlocked" she shouted.

Ruby's head jerked up. That didn't smell like Snow, that smelled like-

"Robin?"

"Regina"

"Leave." She said firmly

"Regina, I can't stop thinking about you. I needed to see you. You can't keep running away from me, we need to talk." he pleaded.

"No, WE don't need to do anything. WE are not a WE. YOU do not speak for ME. I really don't understand why you're here. You need to leave, go back to the forest, or wherever you're staying." She was in a drunken rage, and some level of her appreciated this because it allowed for honesty.

"Regina, please."

"NO. Why did you come here? What? You saw me today and you realized you missed me? You wanted to hear my voice? You wanted to feel my skin? No. that's not how this works. You walked away, and now it's your job to never look back." Everything was blurry as her anger began to take control of her. "Are you still with your wife?"

"Yes" he muttered

"So you have nothing to say to me. You cannot show up at my doorstep because you miss me when you have no intention to act on it." She was furious, but she needed to end this now, because he was like a magnet pulling her towards him. Her heart ached for him, and she skin burned at the thought of his touch.

She realized she had been raising her voice, so she lowered the volume but kept going. "I will not let you touch me, smell me or hear my voice so that you can get your fix and walk away. I will not be that woman, Robin. You miss me, but there's nothing you can do about it. Do like me and figure out a way to deal with it." With that she stopped talking and turned her back towards him

"Go away, I don't want to see you again if it's for the purpose of comforting you about the choice you made."

That was a lie, and she knew it. The truth is Regina would set herself on fire to keep Robin Hood warm.

/

Walking away he knew he had been selfish. It wasn't fair for him to go to her. She was right. All he wanted to do was be in her presence, bask in her beauty. He wanted to get his refill of Regina so that he would be able to go on. He knew he made the wrong decision by choosing Marian. He didn't love her and she would eventually see that and be hurt. In an attempt to be honorable he was hurting all 3 of them. There had to be a way to figure this out.

/

Regina took a deep breath and inhaled Robin's scent as he walked away. She knew this would be the last time she was in his company for a while. Everything she said was right, and she knew it, but she still loved him. Part of her wished she would have let him get his fix so that she could get hers.

She turned around after hearing a noise. _Ruby._ She had forgotten all about her in those moments with Robin Hood. She figured she had heard everything, whether she wanted to or not. Regina tried her hardest to keep herself composed; she was not about to break down in front of this woman twice in one day.

"Regina, are you okay?"

Regina forced a half-smile. "I'm fine. It needed to be said. Although, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut the night short. I just really want to go to bed."

Ruby could hear the shakiness in Regina's voice. If it had been anyone else they would have thought Regina was fine. Every ounce of her wanted to hold Regina and comfort her friend, but she knew she needed to be alone. "Are you sure?"

"Positive" the Queen replied

"Okay. But we're still going to Snow's for dinner tomorrow, okay? I'll swing by after work and pick you up at 5. We'll go together."

"Okay" Regina replied quickly. She really needed to be alone.

"Call me if you need anything, please" she meant what she had said.

/

The second Regina heard Ruby drive off, Regina headed for the kitchen like a woman on a mission. She grabbed the pitcher of cosmopolitans and chugged it. Regina was angry and drunk.

"You're a stupid bitch" she yelled at herself. "Are you happy now? Now he's never going to come back. You're a monster."

She opened her cupboard where she kept her beautiful white plates with a blue and gold accent at the rim. She carefully picked one up and dropped it on the floor. She smiled at the moment of impact. She took another plate, and another, and another.

_Get it all out of your system dear? _

"Go away mother."

_Love is weakness Regina, you knew that, I warned you. Now look, you're broken._

Regina had run out of plates to throw so she reached for a glass and threw it at the wall.

"SHUT UP."

_Regina dear, please, control yourself. It's unbecoming of a lady to throw herself in to a fit of rage. Maybe that's why Robin left you for someone so, well, so vanilla._

Regina began to sob, and she felt the mascara leaking down her face. "You bitch! This is all your fault! YOU killed Daniel, and made me marry the King, YOU took away my happy ending. You and that twisted imp took away MY happy ending."

_Ugly AND a liar, I had such high hopes. You opened yourself up to the darkness, darling. Take responsibility in your actions. This is all your own fault, you ran away from him._

"How DARE you" she spat out.

Regina chugged her half-empty bottle of tequila and threw it at the hallucination of Cora. She began to scream.

"YOU RUIN EVERYONE YOU TOUCH; me, Zelena, Father and even the despicable imp. Why was I never good enough for you, why couldn't you just love me for who I was?!" Regina's voice was shaky; filled with anger, sadness and desperation. She continued in her fit of drunken rage while empting her drawers, throwing everything at the wall. She accidentally let a knife slip and cut herself. Before she could react, Cora was back.

_How ironic dear. Blaming other's for your problems and scars, but look, you do it to yourself; you are your own worst enemy._

And with that, Regina conjured up a fireball, and set her kitchen ablaze.

/

**And on the 8****th**** day God said "Let there be the feels". Thanks for reading, I appreciate all your reviews and hope you're all enjoying this. Also, this chapter was extra-long because some of you asked for Outlaw Queen, and I would have felt bad if I only gave you the jail-cell interaction. Happy times are in the horizon, so worry not. (Once again, the Ruby x Regina relationship is strictly platonic so if outlaw queen isn't your thing this isn't the story for you). **

**On an unrelated note, this story has like 3, maybe 4 chapters left so I'm brainstorming for my next one. I'm thinking Regina x Maleficent brotp OR AU with Regina, Cora, Zelena and Robin. Tell me what you guys think (no, seriously though)! && I was going to make you guys wait for this chapter, but my class got cancelled and I had nothing to soooooo. **

**Lastly, I hope you guys got Meredith and Yang vibes while Ruby was comforting Regina because that's what I was aiming for.**


	6. Just Evil Queen Things

After not hearing from Regina all morning, Ruby assumed that her friend had probably drank a bottle of something and passed out. She hated that Regina turned to alcohol like that, but she let her last night because she knew it was just too much. She worked absent-mindedly while worrying about her friend.

"Granny give me two minutes, I need to make a phone call"

The old lady grunted "suit yourself"

Ruby closed herself up in the back room and searched for Regina's number in her recent callers. The phone rang, but there was no answer. She called two more times before relenting and decided to text her.

-_hey, you okay? I hope you're not too hungover because we've got dinner with the charmings._

Ruby laughed upon remembering that Regina so cleverly referred to them as the "un-charmings".

Two hours went by without a response. The diner was quiet, and Ruby only had an hour left. She snuck up behind her grandmother and gave her a hug.

"Fine." Mumbled the old woman

"Fine? How did you-"

"I know all your tricks you little wolf. Go on, leave, I know you have a dinner."

Ruby gave her grandmother a wide smile "thank you!"

\\\\

As Ruby pulled up to Regina's mansion, she smelled something. Burning. Her heart began to race. She stopped the car abruptly, shifting it in to the park gear and ran out without locking at the door.

She ran the doorbell but there was no answer. She frantically fumbled in her purse for the keys. She finally opened the door and was not prepared for what she saw.

The house had a thin layer of black smoke hovering in the air. She saw dying flames in Regina's kitchen. There was broken glass everywhere. Every mirror, vase and picture frame was smashed to bits. She looked down and saw droplets of blood on the floor. Regina had incinerated the couch, and where it once was stood a pile of ash. There were holes punched in the wall, and pieces of a broken chair scattered in the living room. Ruby was overcome with panic. What the hell happened?

"Regina" she whispered softly. She repeated her name several times, and raised the volume of her voice each time. She walked towards the kitchen, carefully tiptoeing around the shards of glass. Regina's house looked like a war zone. There was an uncomfortable vibe that filled the house; she knew the destruction had been done with dark magic. She stopped when she saw the Queen's foot peering out the doorway of the study. She walked up to her and gasped. Never in her life had she seen such a sight. The queen was covered in scratches, cuts and bruises were beginning to form. Her clothes were ripped and charred. Her hair had pieces of ash in it. Regina looked like she had been dragged face-down through the fiery depths of hell.

Thin as she was, Ruby was unable to pick up the queen fully, so she sat next to her and pulled her up so that she would be leaning against Ruby's chest like a child being comforted by her mother. She stroked her hair "Regina?" she whispered. Her tone was filled with concern and disbelief. She looked down at Regina's arm and realized the Queen had been burnt. She desperately wanted her to wake up so she could use magic to fix herself. "Regina!" she pleaded

Regina's eyes fluttered opened and she began to cough chasing the residue of black smoke out of her lungs. Ruby began to rub her back in an attempt to comfort her, but Regina pulled away. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Regina it's me. Talk to me."

Regina looked at Ruby; her eyes were red and were being weighed down by the enormous black bags under them. Regina turned to her side and began to throw up. Normally Ruby would have winced, but she got used to Regina over-doing it. They had held each other's hair a number of times during the past months. She ran her fingers through her hair. "It's okay"

She gave Regina a couple of moments to regain her strength before she began to inquire about what the hell had happened.

"Regina, what- what happened?" The wolf was filled with guilt; she shouldn't have left her last night. This was all her fault.

On cue, Regina interrupted Ruby's thoughts. "This isn't your fault" she said groggily. "This was me facing demons of my past."

Ruby wore a quizzical look for an expression.

Regina continued "Cora." She felt chills running down her spine at the mention of her name.

"Cora?" she paused and pulled out her cellphone. "Hold on a second, I need to call Snow and cancel, you're not going anywhere like this."

"NO!" Regina shouted, although, in her condition it was more like just raising her voice ever-so-slightly. "We're going, I need to pick up Henry, I'll be fine."

Ruby shot Regina a '_are you stupid' _look. "Regina, no offense, but you're out of your mind if you think you're *okay*" she said while using air quotes.

"Ruby, I'll be fine. Help me up" the Queen extended her arm.

Ruby sighed, but obeyed because this woman was stubborn and nothing could stop her from getting what she wanted. There was no point in resisting. Picking her up, Ruby felt something different. Something was missing. She couldn't place her finger on it. Regina dusted herself off and headed for the door, that's when Ruby caught a glimpse of Regina's bloody back.

"Regina! What really happened last night?! No more vague answers! You fell asleep on glass; your back is all cut." As Ruby was reaching forward to grab Regina's shoulders she saw a light on the floor. She saw what Regina was missing. For the first time in her life, Ruby was terrified.

\\\\\

Robin woke up feeling different. He felt like something was missing. He felt a lack of connection to the world. After a night of chest pains and agony, at 4am the pain stopped completely. Though he was relieved at the passing of his chest pains, he couldn't help but feel something was off. What could possibly throw his whole word off balance, what- or who- could make him feel this way? Regina.

\\\\\

"Regina..." Ruby whispered softly "is that what I think it is?" shivers shot down the wolf's spine.

"It was the only way to make her stop." She muttered

"The only way to make _who _stop?" Ruby asked shakily. To be frank, she was worried about the answer. Regina was definitely off her game in a way that she had never seen before.

"Cora."

"You keep saying her name like I'm supposed to know what that means. Please explain."

"She was taunting me, torturing me. She wouldn't stop until I took it out. I tried everything. She wouldn't stop." she murmured. Regina looked like she had seen a ghost, and now Ruby knew why.

There was a brief moment of silence. Ruby was consumed by her thoughts. She didn't know how to respond to this, had Cora come back from the dead? No, impossible. What the hell was Regina talking about? Before she could formulate a proper question and figure out what the hell is going on, Regina spoke.

"I need to shower."

"Finally something we agree on."

Regina tilted her head and rolled her eyes giving Ruby her trademark annoyed look.

Ruby bent down and carefully picked up the enchanted organ off the floor. Regina winced while turning away.

"Regina, put it back."

"I- I can't. I'm not ready to face her again." She said softly. She sounded like a little girl who had just been caught disobeying her parents.

Regina ignored Ruby's pleas to put her heart back in her chest and made her way to the staircase. She paused and took in her surroundings. She had caused so much destruction. How the mighty have fallen. She may have used light magic, but she was no hero; heroes don't slip back in to the darkness. Once she regained her strength she would use magic to fix things, but for now this would serve as a reminder of why her heart must remain out of her chest.

"Make yourself comfortable" Regina's words were dripping with sarcasm. She had destroyed every piece of furniture.

Ruby looked around and saw the broken pieces of wood everywhere. "You wouldn't want to give me a crash course in woodwork would you?"

She walked up the staircase and undressed when she got in her room. It wasn't difficult to take her clothes off because they were charred and ripped anyway, but lifting her shirt over her head re-opened her wounds. She slowly climbed in the shower and let the hot water wash over her. A pool of red was found at her feet. She turned her back towards the showerhead and let the water burn her damaged skin. She put the shampoo that Robin loved so much in her hand and began to wash her hair. She got a mild cut on her finger from the shard of glass that was hiding in her raven locks. She took her washcloth and gently began to wash her skin. She winced and gasped at the pain, but continued on_. A queen must always look put together_. This time it was she who re-surfaced her mother's words. She laughed at the irony; even when Cora got what she wanted she still managed to haunt her. She was embarrassed that she let Ruby see her so weak and fragile. Maybe embarrassed wasn't the right word, more like disgusted. Ruby was here, was her friend _for now. _But eventually like everyone else Ruby would leave her, and Regina would have opened herself up to someone who didn't care for her.

She turned off her shower and inhaled the steam chasing the last bits of smoke out. She picked up her hanging towel and wrapped herself in it, like he had once done to her. She dried her hair, and applied her makeup. Entering her bedroom, she made her way to the closet and picked out an outfit, a very _Regina Mills_ outfit. She picked out black pants and a cream colored satin blouse. Even she would admit that the blouse was a little much for a dinner with the Un-Charmings, but it was the only thing that didn't irritate her back. She accompanied the outfit with a blazer. She looked in the mirror and for the life of her could not see Regina Mills, she saw a shell of a woman.

She walked down the stairs to see that Ruby was waiting for her at the bottom. Poor girl had nowhere to sit but the staircase seeing as Regina took it upon herself to burn everything. She felt the wolf's eyes take in her appearance; she knew that she would notice.

"Regina, you look like a zombie. I'm calling to cancel." She insisted

"You will do no such thing" she said firmly

"Regina, you don't look like yourself and I'm sure part of it is because you're missing your heart and the other part has to do with last night. Regina please, if you won't take back your heart, let me pay the price of your rejuvenation."

Regina tilted her head and observed Ruby. Without her heart she was less perceptive when it came to emotions, she didn't know if she was sensing sympathy or empathy.

"That won't be necessary" she snapped as she made her way to the back yard.

Ruby was confused, but didn't say a word. She just watched from a safe distance as Regina approached her apple tree. She observed as the witch stretched her hands towards the tree and purple light began to flow from the tree to Regina. The tree's colors fade and the apples began to fall. Finally it stopped. The tree was dead and tilted forward being stripped of its former pride and beauty.

Regina turned around with a smile on her face. "Let's go."

Ruby put her hand on Regina's shoulder and halted her. "We're not going anywhere until you put this back in your chest." She said while lifting the sorceress's heart. Regina twitched; she could feel Ruby's emotions connect with her heart. The wolf was angry and worried. "You need to do it for Henry."

"What is it with you people using my soon as leverage to get your way. It's unoriginal and pathetic" she barked.

Regina grabbed her heart and reluctantly put in back in her chest.

_Regina dear, I thought you would last more than 24 hours. Love really has weakened you._

\\\\

He gasped. He felt like someone had punched his chest. He was almost at Regina's but he picked up the pace, something was wrong. As he approached Regina's mansion, he smelled something funny. Being in the woods all those years refined his sense of smell when it came to fire. Worried, he rushed to her doorstep. As he was about to ring the doorbell, the door swung open and she was standing in front of him. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo and felt a warm sensation spread throughout his body.

"Regina, did something happen last night?"

Ruby slipped out the door quickly and made sure it didn't open an inch more. They were definitely hiding something.

"My well-being is none of your concern." She said furiously while avoiding eye-contact.

Robin moved in to her field of vision, but his attempts to make eye contact were futile because she moved her head the other way.

"You know that's not true." He said while frowning.

"While that may be, I have no time for professions of love today, I'm late for a diner" she grabbed Ruby and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

_Bloody insufferable. _He knew something was up, he could feel it. He never let a closed door stand in his way before, and he wouldn't now. He used his former-bandit skills and broke in to her house. It took him a minute to take in the destruction. He knew this was done with magic, magic filled with rage. It was at that moment he truly realized what he had done to the love of his life.

\\\\\\

They landed outside the loft and Regina lost her balance.

"For a smart woman, you do the stupidest things. Why would you use magic in your condition?"

The Queen was not amused. "My condition? A simple hangover is nothing to worry about."

Ruby groaned. "A simple hangover does not involve sucking the magic out of a tree. I may not be Hermione Granger, but I know that was a powerful spell when I see one."

"I see the time we spent together has done you some good. Sass suits you." She smiled changing the subject.

The wolf rolled her eyes "I'm not falling for that. We're talking about this later. Let's go."

"Yes mother." But the Queen stood still. "Wait, I need a second, I'm kind of dizzy."

"_A simple hangover_" Ruby said in a mocking tone.

"You're the worst."

\\\\\

He screwed up royally and he knew it. He needed her to know, and apparently confrontation wasn't the way.

_Dear Regina,_

_I beg you to fight the urge to burn this note and to please listen to me. I screwed up. I see now all the pain I caused you, and I will spend the life of my life trying to make it up to you. I need to find a way to right the wrong I have done to you. I know you may not believe me, but I love you. I need to see you, and I need you to stop running away from me. From the looks of this place I can tell you're angry. I see the sorrow in your eyes, and I am ashamed to know that I am the cause of it. I'm no good at this letter-writing stuff, so I beg you to come see me; on your terms. _

_Love Robin. _

\\\\\

"We should go in before Snow sends out a search party"

"Should we mess with her and appear in her kitchen?" Regina said while smirking

Before Ruby could interject and kill Regina's fun, she grabbed her and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Snow gasped. "Regina! You scared me"

Charming came behind Snow and embraced her protectively. "Still making royal entrances I see."

"What can I say, old habits die hard." A puff of purple smoke formed in her hand. "Here, I brought _apple_ pie." This hadn't been part of her plan, but she loved pissing Charming off. She would need to stop because she wasn't fully recovered from last night and would have to fix the house before Henry came home; but this moment of superficial amusement was worth it.

"Henry!" Snow yelled out "Your mother's here."

Regina turned around and smiled as she saw her beautiful boy come down the stairs. Her smile immediately faded when she saw the blonde follow. She turned around and scowled at Snow.

Sensing her displeasure, Snow picked up Neal and gave him to Regina. "Say hi to your grandmother"

Ruby burst out laughing when she saw the color drain from the Queen's face. She immediately stopped because she feared for her safety

"Absolutely not."

On cue baby Neal spit up on Regina.

"I see he senses the hostility" Emma said while sighing

Regina clenched her fists and gritted her teeth. Instead of responding she returned the child to his mother and marched up the stairs to the bathroom.

"Stupid kid got his stupid vomit all over my stupid blazer and my stupid blouse. I knew I shouldn't have worn this stupid outfit." she muttered. She let out a groan of frustration when she realized the spit-up had touched her blouse. She pulled it over her head to wash it when –

"Regina!" Snow gasped. "Your back?! What happened! Are you okay" the princess's words were coming out a million miles per hour.

Regina grabbed the nearest towel and covered herself from her step-daughter's prying eyes. "IT'S CALLED PRIVACY, SNOW"

"i-I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if you needed a sweater."

"As if I would ever wear any of your hideous outfits." She snapped

She handed Regina a blouse. "Henry gave this to Emma a while back, here."

Regina was furious. Why did Snow always have to make things better? Couldn't everyone just leave her the hell alone?

"Thanks" she managed to say.

"Regina, are you okay."

But the Queen walked away without responding. She was tired of these redundant questions.

They gathered around the table. The tension in the air was thick like a foggy day. Ruby and Charming tried to lighten the mood by cracking jokes, but it was no use. Snow sat there staring at her step-mother while Regina continuously gave her dirty looks.

"So mom, I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed here this week..?"

Regina was taken aback by her son's request. They had mended their relationship, why didn't Henry want to come home with her? Sensing his mother's confusion and uneasiness Henry continued.

"It's just that I have a group project this week, and my friend lives in this building, it would just be easier."

Emma hesitantly cut in "Only if it's okay with you though…"

"If you wants to stay here, who am I to stop you?" she glared at Emma. "Especially if it concerns your education." She assured him while turning her attention back to him.

Ruby knew that her friend was breaking inside, and this was just the cherry on the cake. She watched closely as Regina shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She knew Regina, and she knew she wanted to run.

Regina waited the appropriate 20 minutes before claiming she felt ill and excused herself from the dinner. David offered to drive her home but she politely declined saying she would get home the same way she got there. In that moment she disregarded her son's disapproval of her use of magic, because at this point it didn't really matter. He would never be hers again.

She appeared in the entrance of her house. She leaned back placing her forehead on the cold door. She wanted to cry, but she was all cried out. She turned around and observed the disaster that was her house. Slowly and diligently she began to repair everything with magic until she practically collapsed from exhaustion.

She was walking up the stairs, and she saw it, the note. She immediately knew who it was from and conjured up a fireball.

**a/n: **so this chapter was longer than usual. Took a while to finish because I was focusing all my energy on prompts and post-vault kiss fic [lol]. Anyway, we're almost out of the woods with the angst. Thank you for your follows, and favs. Please continue to review because your comments give me life. OH && I've decided on the Maleficent x Regina fic, but fear not Cora lovers, the Queen of hearts will be in it too. Sorry for the mistakes, I am without a beta.

**Before you all sharpen your knives and come at me for lack of outlaw queen let me just tell you that this lack of conversation between them is building up to Regina spilling her guts to him next chapter. I PROMISE OKAY. Sorry. Really do apologize for lack of interaction, but Regina is super stubborn like that.**


	7. Just Outlaw Things

It took a while for the dinner conversation to get back to normal after Regina's abrupt exit. Thankfully Ruby and David tried to keep the mood light with small talk. After dinner Emma, Henry and Charming made their way to the living room to play a video game that involved Italian men and mushrooms. Ruby didn't catch all the details. This left the two friends alone in the kitchen.

They both said each other's names at the same time and giggled right after.

"You go first" Ruby offered.

"No, it's okay, go ahead." Snow replied hoping Ruby would answer her question without her having to ask.

"I just wanted to say sorry for being a jerk the other day at Granny's. I was just going through a rough time, and I shouldn't have acted immaturely. I know you were just looking out for Regina and I." She paused. She wasn't sure if she should continue, but if anyone could help it would be Snow. Ruby struggled not knowing whether or not to withhold this morning's event from Snow. Regina trusted her, and she knew the monarch valued her privacy more than anything. That's when Ruby decided she would drop a hint and let Snow figure out the rest. "I should have listened to you."

"What do you mean?" Snow caught the bait.

"When you said to be careful with Regina." She looked away while answering, fearing that her eyes might convey the truth.

"Is everything okay with her Ruby?"

"I- uh- I'm not sure." She stuttered.

"Ruby, what happened to her? I saw the scratches on her back, and she looked a little off."

"I can't- It doesn't feel right. She trusts me." Ruby found herself avoiding her friend's gaze once again. Would the end result justify the means? What if she spilled the beans and Snow could help, then again, what if it only made matters worse?

"I understand more than most. I wouldn't want you to spill a secret. It's just that I worry about her so much. Especially since the Enchanted Forest." This time it was Snow dropping hints that would peak the wolf's curiosity.

"Well?! Don't just leave me there; what happened?"

"Charming and I hadn't seen Regina for two days, so we decided to go to her room to check up on her. When we got there we were horrified by what we saw. Regina had broken absolutely everything; she was cut, and bruised. She also kept muttering something about Cora, about how she made her do it. We helped her get cleaned up, put her to bed, and then she never spoke of it. When I confronted her about it she seemed utterly clueless… I think she took a forgetting potion. So today when I saw scratches on her back I got worried." Worried was an understatement, Snow was distraught. Ruby could hear the hurt and discomfort in her voice.

The wolf let out a sigh of relief knowing that she was now at liberty to discuss what happened. "That's exactly what happened last night. Snow I was scared- not of her, of the situation-" Snow gave her an understanding nod signaling for her to continue. "She took her heart out of her chest because _Cora told her to"_ Ruby's tone suggested that she was unsure about what Regina was saying. "It sounds crazy right?"

The princess nodded. "She has nightmares about Cora, I overheard her once or twice as a child."

Suddenly Ruby realized she was in the wrong place.

"Snow, I'm sorry to cut this short, thank you for having me, but I need to go check up on her. I know she's probably devastated that Henry isn't coming home this week, and I need her to not drink herself in to oblivion." She glanced at the three figures laughing on the couch. She couldn't help but feel a little spiteful towards them for ignoring Regina's hurt, but then again, Regina was excellent at concealing her feelings.

Before Ruby could go, Snow grabbed her wrist and pulled her in for a hug. "You're a great friend you know that? And I'm sorry if I've neglected you lately with the baby and all. Now let me know if everything is okay."

Ruby didn't know what to say, so she smiled and said nothing.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Regina held the note in one hand, and a fireball in the other. She had been standing there with the unread letter for at least 30 minutes contemplating what its fate should be.

She heard the door open, but she didn't budge. She knew it wasn't Robin, and if it was anyone else she truly didn't care.

Ruby walked down the hallway calling out for Regina. She finally found her situated at the top of the staircase, fireball in one hand, and a piece of paper in the other. She carefully climbed up the stairs heading toward Regina. Without asking for permission, she gently took the note out of the monarch's hand and read it.

"Regina."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"God you really are stubborn. Just read it, please."

"Why?"

"Aren't you tired Regina? You owe it to yourself to stop running. This is being done on your terms, if you cry he won't be here to see."

"Okay." She said while taking the note back. It smelled of him – the paper. It was _her _paper from _her_ house, and yet it smelled of _him._

As Regina read the note, Ruby watched her demeanour change. Regina balled her fists and clenched her jaw. Then suddenly she let loose.

"Okay." She muttered

"Okay what?"

"I know what I'm going to do."

"And what's that?" Ruby asked skeptically.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

When Robin arrived back to camp he knew he could not go on living this charade, he needed to speak to his _wife._ He rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants and braced himself as he walked towards his tent.

The moment he got in Marian looked at him and smiled. "Where were you?

God he felt so bloody guilty. He couldn't believe he had been such an arse stringing her along like that. He felt terrible because he knew what it was like to love someone more than they loved you, that's how it had been with Regina at the beginning (or so he thought).

"I went for a walk; I needed to clear my head."

"Robin from the moment you came back, you've been acting strange. You used to be all over me, and now you flinch when I get too close. You're so distant, and I can't help but think there's something bothering you." She looked away feeling slightly embarrassed. "Please" she begged "I need you to talk to me, tell me what you're feeling."

Robin wanted to drop dead right then and there. He had gone with Marian not to hurt her, and he did it nonetheless while ruining his soul mate in the process. _You've made a bloody mess of everything mate; I hope you're proud _he thought to himself.

"Marian" he sat down next to her but kept an arm's length of distance between them. "I haven't been honest with you, and for that I'm sorry." He was nervously fumbling a pinecone in his pocket. _How do I tell my wife I'm no longer in love with her?_ It seemed like an impossible situation, and it was. He wanted to tread carefully; it was not his intention to burn bridges with her. Despite his deep love for Regina, he still loved Marian, but differently. He loved her as the mother of his child, and an old friend.

"Robin, please" God, she was pleading for him to break her heart.

"Marian, you know I love you, but things haven't been the same since you came back, and I'm sorry for that. I live by a code of honor, and for a while I was fooling myself in to thinking that I've been following it, but this is no honor in being with you while my heart belongs to another. You deserve better than that, _she_ deserves better than that." He paused to give her time to process what he had said.

"The queen…"

"Regina, yes." He looked in to her eyes, he was not going to be a coward about this, and she deserved his respect. "Marian you have to believe me, after your death I was a mess. I couldn't come to terms with your passing I grieved you for years. I pulled myself together for Roland and for your memory, knowing you would have wanted me to happy-"

Marian twitched, that stung. It hurt because it was the truth, all she wanted for him was happiness, all she _wants_ for him is happiness.

"-I was never with anyone, and then one day Regina saved Roland's life and I- well, that's when I let myself hope for love again."

"Why didn't you tell me she saved Roland?" she was hurt that he had withheld their history from her.

"You wouldn't hear anything of it." He recoiled after he realized his tone was harsher than he had meant it to be. The images of Regina fighting back the darkness as Marian called her a monster flashed through his mind. It was at that moment he had truly made up his mind, when he saw how strong she was, how much she had changed, and how beautiful she looked when she was conflicted.

Marian let out a long sigh. He was right of course; she had been completely closed off to anything having to do with the evil queen. But maybe that was the point, she wanted nothing to do with the evil queen, but she had never given Regina a chance.

She let out a quiet laugh.

"Are you okay?" Robin asked.

"Okay? I am many things but okay is not one of them." She paused and took a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean you were always one to follow your convictions so why didn't you?"

He bare to look in her eyes anymore. "I didn't want to hurt you." He uttered in a whisper-like tone.

She snorted and quirked her left eyebrow "Well it's too late for that isn't it?"

"I-I know, and I am so sorry for that. I really am, more than you will ever know. But Marian there's something else you should know if we're being honest." He waited for her nod of approval.

"I swear Robin if you're going to tell me that you were _with_ her while you were still with me then I suggest you leave." Her voice was filled with disdain.

He reached forward to put his hand on her thigh out of instinct, but she drew back.

"God no, I swear. Marian I would never do that to you." He was angry that she thought so little of him, but he supposed it was appropriate considering the circumstances.

"So what is it, spit it out."

"Regina is my soul mate."

Now Marian was really laughing, she couldn't fathom the words coming out of her soon to be ex-husband's mouth.

"Really Robin? You couldn't wait for the ink to dry on our divorce papers before calling another woman your soul mate?"

Robin pondered what Marian had just said. How did she know what divorce papers were? This was something exclusive to this land.

"Marian, how do you know what divorce papers are?" he asked with an accusatory tone

Suddenly Marian stiffened up and looked away. She let her secret slip.

"I-, Robin I knew something wasn't right, I already knew your heart belonged to another, but when I found out it was with _her_ I, I just." She was stuttering now, her mind was racing trying to come up with an explanation.

"You what? You knew and you let me suffer in silence?" he huffed in disbelief.

They sat there for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say, both of them afraid to say too much.

"It doesn't matter anymore." He said while getting up

"So what, you're going to crawl back to her bed now?" she spat

"Don't."

"Does she have so little self-respect that she would accept you back right away?" she hissed.

"Bitterness is unbecoming on you." He walked away without looking back.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Things hadn't gone as bad as they could have, but they hadn't gone as good as they could have either. He would talk to her again in the morning when she calmed down. He knew he should be bothered by the whole divorce papers thing, but right now only one thing was on his mind.

He went to their spot, and sat down on the cold log. He heard some movement coming from the trees, the sound of leaves being crushed and breathing a bit heavier than usual. He immediately got on the defensive; he wished he had his bow.

"Show yourself" he raised his voice to assert authority.

And suddenly there she was, his Queen, his goddess, his soul mate.

"Regina." He whispered softly like he was trying not to wake up from a dream.

"No arrow at aimed for my head? You're slipping." She sassed.

"Regina, I-, thank you for reading my note and coming." He put softly

"Thank Ruby. I had a fireball ready incinerate it."

"Regina, are you okay?" the moon shed light on his glassy eyes that were holding back tears of concern.

She scoffed "Well that's a little vague don't you think? Define okay? I mean, my soul mate left me for his wife, my son left me for Emma, I got arrested 4 times this month, and I threw up the contents of my stomach this morning which is upsetting because it was a really old bottle of expensive bourbon. But I'm here, breathing, in one piece; so I guess you can say I'm okay." Her words were sharp and laced with poison, meant to hurt him.

Robin stood there paralyzed by the venom of her words that acted as catalysts in spreading guilt throughout his body. He had screwed up,_ royally_.

"Regina I am so incredibly sorry." He said choking back tears

"Mhm." she hummed. She was ignoring his emotions just like he had ignored hers. She was wanted to make this hurt.

He was taken aback with her hostility, but once again like with Marian he understood where she was coming from.

"Listen Robin, I don't have all night, what do you want from me?" she stated unfeelingly

"Regina I hurt you, I know that, and I'm sorry-" he was going to start rambling about how much he had messed up, but the Queen decided to cut him off.

"You already said sorry. "

"I know, and I'm going to spend every day trying to show you just how sorry I am."

That was it. Regina didn't know what games he was playing, but she lost it.

"No. No you don't get to do that. Do you have any idea what I've been through these past 3 months? I understood that your wife came back, and that you would have to go see her, but you _forgot_ about me, you pushed me to the side, you made me feel like nothing. And it took you long enough to seek me out, and by then I was already crushed." Her voice was shaky now as she tried to hold back her tears, because she would not cry, not in front of him. "You crept in to the very essence of my being. You made yourself a home in the harshest conditions of my heart. You invited yourself to stay and against my better judgement I let you in. But like everyone else, now you're gone and there's something missing in a place that was once that whole." She was breathing heavily now, she had just poured her soul out to him and instantly regretted it.

_Love is weakness Regina. _

Not now. Please, not now, Regina begged her subconscious.

Robin was at a loss for words. She had just poured her heart out to him and his only response was

"I had no idea."

Regina rolled her eyes. "You had no idea that I would be crushed over losing my soul mate?"

"But, your heart… I felt it at the beginning, but then it stopped, I thought you had moved on."

"I became a drunk you fool!" she was yelling now, her hands balled in to fists trying to contain her rage. "I couldn't rip my heart because I knew you would feel it, so what better way than to numb myself in to oblivion."

"But the other night I felt it. What happened?"

"nothing."

"Regina!"

"No! I don't owe you an explanation."

He grabbed her wrist pulling her toward him when he heard a growl coming from the darkness.

Regina pulled her wrist away and turned toward the empty forest.

"It's okay Ruby."

_Ruby? Oh God, did she think I was going to hurt her?_ Robin thought to himself.

"Regina I swear I'm not going to hurt you." His eyes were filled with sorrow

"I know, she's just protective."

"And I can't blame her; I treated your heart poorly."

"Robin, what's the point of this?" she let out a sigh. "You're still with your wife and I refuse to be the other woman, even I know I'm better than that." She looked away.

Her words pained him. "Of course you're worth more than that. You deserve the best, someone who will worship the ground you walk on. And if you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance, I would like to be that person." He looked in to her eyes searching for a reaction. "I left Marian" he breathed.

She took a step back and stared him in disbelief. "You what?" her voice cracked.

"I left her. Regina I couldn't live a lie anymore. There was nothing honourable about what I was doing. I am eternally sorry for hurting you, and I will spend every minute of every day trying to make it up to you." He hesitantly reached for her hand.

She let him take her hand. She missed his touch so much. She was fighting against every fibre of her being that was telling her lean forward to kiss him.

"Robin, i-"she was unsure about what to say. On one hand she was filled with joy, but on the other she was terrified at how easily she could let him back in, how willing she was. She searched her heart for the Evil Queen, because she needed to be strong, but she couldn't find her.

"Robin are you sure? Because I won't have you moaning Eva while you're in bed with me, I've already stood in the place of a deceased wife and I can't do that again, I _won't_ do it again. So if you have any attachments to her, I need you to stay away from me." It was only after her rant that she realized her Freudian slip.

_You're such an embarrassment Regina._

She stiffened up. She couldn't hold off Cora for much longer.

"Regina, are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright. Robin I accept what you're saying, but I'm leaving. Not forever, for a little while. I have issues that I need to work out before I can even think about being with anyone ever again."

He reached for her other hand. "Let me help you" he whispered

She pulled both her hands back and put them in her jacket pocket. She needed to retrain herself because the temptation was overwhelming.

"No. This is something I need to do alone, for me. I'll be back. Use the time apart to think about things and to see if this is what you really want."

I don't need to think about it, he wanted to yell, but instead he nodded.

"Goodbye Robin." She turned around and walked toward the blackness of the forest.

"Wait" he shouted while running after her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. He raised his right hand and put it behind his head before leaning in to kiss her. They were both on fire now, nothing had ever felt so right. For a moment Regina got lost in the connection of their souls meeting once again, but she regained her senses and pulled back wearing a shy smile.

"Goodbye Regina." He said as she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

**a/n:** ***gasp* where is Regina going? We shall see next chapter. Sooooooo I hope you guys liked that little chat, especially Regina's part because that's been on the backburner of my brain for quite some time now. I apologize for the long wait, I was cheating on this story with Just a Regular Morning one-shots. Thank you for the follows, and favorites. Your reviews are always greatly appreciated. We have 2-3 chapters left. Also, I've read previous chapters and caught little mistakes and I wanted to apologize. This entire story has not had a beta, and I'm useless when it comes to finding my own mistakes.**


	8. Breaking Down

**a/n: you guys, I am so sorry for the long wait. A huge thank you to the lovely Trina-deckers, without whom this chapter would never have seen the light of day.**

She woke up to the sound of Taylor Swift singing on the radio. It took her a moment to realize where she was until she noticed Ruby in the driver's seat.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." Ruby said while chuckling.

"Maleficent would have your head if she heard you say that." She replied groggily as she stretched out her arms and back.

"Well thankfully Dragon Lady isn't here. I can only handle one Disney villain at a time."

Regina pouted. "Shutup."

After her goodbye with Robin, everything was a little bit blurry. She assumed the encounter would tax her emotional stability which is why she ensured she was ready to go beforehand. She combed her fingers through her hair in an attempt to undo any knots that formed while sleeping.

"How long have I been out?"

"3 hours. By the way, you snore." The wolf let out a laugh

Regina gasped and playfully swatted her. "I do not! Liar."

She stared out the window and all she took in the vast forest scenery. She felt her heart clench as she thought about Robin.

"Pull over at the next coffee shop and we'll switch."

"You sure you're okay to drive?"

"Absolutely." she took a deep breath. "Ruby?"

"Yes?" she said while turning her head.

"Thank you." Regina let out a half smile.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He woke up to the sound of a baby crying. _Neal._

He loved his little uncle, but the kid needed to learn how to sleep in. He stretched out his arms and kicked the covers off the bed. He got up slowly and made his way to the edge of the mattress when he saw a note on his night stand.

_My little prince,_

_I left last night to go on a little road-trip with Ruby. I just need to sort some things out, but don__'__t worry, I__'__ll be back soon. And good luck on your group project. I will text you when I arrive._

_Love you always,_

_Mom xo_

Henry stared at the note in disbelief. Why did she leave? What did she need to sort out? He stomped down the stairs.

"Grandma?" he called out while looking around.

"Over here." She waved with the hand that wasn't being used to cradle her son.

"My mom left? Did you know?"

Regina had stopped by the night before to let Snow know she was leaving, and more importantly, where she was going. Snow looked at the desperation in Henry's eyes, and almost gave in, but she remembered Regina swore her to secrecy. She left her a number where she could be contacted, but only in case the town was being blown up, or something happened to Henry.

"Yes, she stopped by last night but you were sleeping, so she left a note." That was the most she could give.

"Why didn't she wake me?" he asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Because she said, and I quote, 'he's a growing boy who needs sleep'." She explained while gently bouncing Neal in her arms.

"This is my fault isn't it? It's because I stayed here instead of going back with her?" his voice was filled with sorrow. Guilt washed over him, he knew he could have just gone home; his mother would have driven him back and forth without any hesitation.

Snow approached Henry slowly and placed her unoccupied hand on Henry's shoulder. "No Henry, it's not your fault. She said it worked out better this way. She has stuff to do outside of town."

Henry nodded and poured himself a bowl of cereal. His grandmother's words didn't assuage his guilt, but it did calm him down a little.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

She woke up to a nudge and the sound of her name called.

"Ruby?"

Ruby gasped for air after being awoken from her light sleep. She raised her right hand and rubbed her eye, smudging the carefully placed eyeliner.

"Shit. I smudged my eyeliner."

Regina flicked her wrist out of instinct, but nothing happened.

"And no magic Mills does it again. Isn't this the third time you attempt that?" She laughed

Regina glared at the wolf. "I didn't ask for the PBS special, wolf."

"Cranky aren't we? Why'd you wake me up?"

"Because we're almost there and I have some things to tell you."

Ruby straightened up, readying herself for a serious conversation.

"First of all, open the glove compartment, there's something for you."

Ruby did what she was told and opened it, pulling out a folder. At a quick glance she saw a credit card, a fake ID and hotel receipts.

"Wha- what's all this?"

"Well, you need an ID in case you want to buy booze, the credit card is so you can shop and do whatever. I know you brought your own money, but this is just in case. I booked a hotel for 2 weeks. Hopefully I won't take that long, but you never know."

"Regina, this is too much."

"No." she took her eyes off the road for a moment and turned her head to look at Ruby and smiled. "You've been more of a friend to me in these past months than anyone else aside from Daniel has been in my entire life." Her voice cracked a little at the mention of Daniel.

"Regina, thank you. This friendship is not one-sided, you have done so much for me, helped me steer clear of the darkness, and I can't thank you enough for that."

Regina felt tears begin to form in her eyes. She attempted to school her features, but a smile broke through. She was happy she didn't run the first night Ruby invited her out. If only she hadn't run away so many times before, she might not have needed that drink. She shook her head and chased all the negative thoughts away, now wasn't the time.

"I also signed you up for a two-week art class. I don't want you laying around a hotel all day." Those were her maternal instincts kicking in.

Ruby's eyes widened. "What? H-How do you r-remember that?!" Ruby was stuttering. Ruby always had a passion for art; it was something she confided in Regina one drunken night. She complained about how being in Storybrooke gave them such limited options in terms of education. She recalled accusing Regina of being a stingy bitch when she created the curse by not providing them with an option for higher education. She couldn't believe Regina remembered, because they were both pretty hammered.

"I happen to be able to retain some information that is divulged, even if I am drunk. Don't think I forgot about what you said about my ass." she let out a laugh.

Ruby blushed and hid her face in embarrassment. "I'm a flirty drunk okay! And sometimes I don't differentiate between the sexes. And plus, you know you have a great ass, that's why you wear tight clothes."

Regina fake gasped. "I do not wear _tight_ clothes."

"Really" ruby rolled her eyes. "So how would you describe them?"

"Form fitting." She stated matter-of-factly

"You really are the worst."

"They don't call me the evil queen for nothing."

She stared at Regina for a moment. She noticed that even in this moment of laughter, there's a sadness found in her eyes. She doesn't't hold herself as up-right as usual, her skin is paler, and she is most definitely thinner. She was happy her friend was getting help, and she was even happier that she trusted Ruby to go along with her.

They spent the next 15 minutes in silence before they pulled up to the facility. Regina parked the car and inhaled deeply. "This is it."

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Ruby asked while squeezing her knee.

"No. But promise you'll answer if I call?" she asked shyly, because she didn't't want to feel completely alone.

"Of course."

Regina unbuckled her seatbelt, as did Ruby. She headed towards the trunk to take the bags she packed for her "trip." She pulled luggage out of the trunk and gently placed it on the floor, extending the handle as she rolled it away.

"Regina!" Ruby called out

She turned around. "Yes?"

Ruby ran up to her and squeezed her tightly. "Good luck."

Regina was overwhelmed by this display of emotion. At first she stiffened up, but then she fell in to the woman's embrace.

"Thank you."

Regina walked towards the entrance, and the automatic doors opened.

"Welcome to Seaside Rehabilitation Center."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It had been 4 days since Regina left, and his heart ached for her, literally and poetically. He felt pain in his chest sometimes; he knew this came from Regina. He's saddened by her suffering, but also relieved by the pain, because it means she's alive.

He'd spoken with Marian again. The conversation went better than last time.

_I don'__t want you to be with me out of obligation or duty, I deserve better than that- you deserve better than that_. She had said

He needed to come up with a plan to win Regina back. He knew it wasn't going to be easy. It hadn't been a walk in a park the first time, and she had no reason to doubt him back then. He wondered how Henry was dealing with all of this, and contemplated going to speak to him. If he was going to win Regina back he needed someone on his side.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Your majesty, time to wake up?"

Regina slowly faded out of her slumber and opened her eyes to face the real world. Once she gained complete consciousness she jolted up.

"What did you call me?" _How the hell do they know who I am? Oh my God this is not good._

The nurse chuckled. "Your name, Regina, it means Queen."

_Oh, that__'__s right. Cora loved to set things in stone._

She smiled "Yes of course."

"I'm glad to see you're doing better."

Regina nodded. She had been out cold the first two days. No alcohol, no anti-anxiety spells (her own personal secret), and most importantly, no magic. She had spent her first nights shaking in bed crying quietly as sobriety hit her like a train. She hadn't been able to contact Ruby so she had no idea how she was doing. She had told Ruby to send Henry good night texts, just so he didn't get suspicious.

"I brought you breakfast" the nurse pointed to a tray with brown toast, eggs, and orange juice. Regina smiled for a minute because the only other person who had ever brought her breakfast in bed was Henry. Sometimes missed the days before the book; when it was just them and a cursed town. Life was simpler. She mentally admonished herself for her thoughts because those were not happy days. Though she may have felt some semblance of happiness, her heart was still closed to everyone but Henry. She was still bitter and vengeful back then.

Regina nodded her head in acknowledgment.

"Once you're done you can get ready and you have time to kill until 10, that's when Doctor Cohen will see you."

10 o'clock came quickly. After eating, Regina went for a walk in the gardens and sat down at a bench overlooking the river while reading a book.

Now she found herself in Dr. Cohen's office, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. She reminded herself that when re-telling the gruesome tales of her past she would have to adjust details to remove the magical aspect. Instead of Cora ripping Daniel's heart out maybe she would run him over with a car. No. That seemed too dramatic. People don't do that here in this realm, or do they? Regina vaguely remembers reality TV shows where strange events took place.

"Miss Mills?"

Regina's head snapped up as she looked at the woman standing before her. She was about Regina's height, she wore heels of course, shoulder length straight blonde hair and brown eyes. She was pretty, but not too pretty. She hated that, what was_ too pretty_? Cora told Regina that her scar did her wonders, because if she was _too pretty _women wouldn't like her. At least that was her logic at the time when she refused to fix the gash on her upper lip that had been caused by her own hand. Regina shuddered at the memory.

Regina stood up and extended her arm to shake the blonde's hand. "Hello. I would say nice to meet you, but considering the circumstances…" she left her sentence open.

Dr. Cohen smiled. "Yes well, let's get to it shall we?" She gestured to a couch, indicating that Regina should lay down.

"So Miss Mills-"

"Doctor Cohen?" she interrupted. "Regina, please." Miss Mills or Madame Mayor reminded her too much of _Your Majesty, _she just wanted to be Regina.

"Regina" she repeated as she wrote something down in her notebook. "Why have you decided to come to here? I read in your file that you were already in therapy back home. Why did you stop going?"

"I was, and it was alright at first. I used it to blow off steam or to keep myself from slipping, but eventually I found it was ineffective. My therapist was too familiar with me and my past, not all of the information coming from me. Gossip and whatnot is common when you're the mayor of a small town. In the end it wasn't professional enough for me, his advice was too _hopeful_ and biased." She paused, that was one way of putting it. The other was that her therapist was a cricket that received his PhD from a curse. "Not to mention, it clearly didn't't work." She added in quickly

"Why did you start therapy?" the doctor asked. Regina was guarded, she would need to start with warm-up questions, and get her started. Eventually Regina would have a Freudian slip about what was really bothering her and then everything would progress from there.

"I started therapy for my son." She said dryly. Is this how this realm works? Asking meaningless questions? Regina just wanted the doctor to tell her what was wrong, to _fix_ her.

"Tell me about your son, what's his name?"

"Henry." In the first time since she arrived, Regina smiled. Her little prince. "He's almost 14 now, he's gotten so big."

"So why did you start attending therapy because of him?"

"Before he turned 10, Henry and I had a good relationship, and then he found out he was adopted and it all went sour from there. He found out things about my past and, well, you know kids at that age, they only see things as black and white. He sought out his birth mother, and when he found her he rejected me completely. I felt I was losing control and so I slipped in to old habits. He didn't like that."

_Control. So that__'__s what drives her. Nature or nurture? _ "Old habits?"

Yes, I used magic to get what I want. "I-" Regina hesitated. What could she come up with. She should have thought this through. "I was in the mob. I used my _connections_ to get what I wanted."

This took the doctor by surprise. Regina did not strike her as a mob wife; she was much too put-together for that line of work.

"How did you get involved in that life?"

"My mother was always very ambitious; she believed social status and reputation were everything. My name, Regina, is not a coincidence. She chose it because it means Queen, and that's exactly what she wanted me to be. I was always very reluctant to take part in that lifestyle, for me it was about doing what I loved and being happy."

"Doing what you love?"

"Well, at the time I was passionate about, uh- children and literature. I wanted to be a teacher. I had a tutor, Daniel, and he inspired me. I fell in love with him. He was so light and warm, unlike the people in my family. He came from a different background and showed me the world through a different set of glasses."

"And what happened afterwards?"

"My mother did not approve, obviously. An elementary school teacher was hardly something worthy of my time. I began to tutor this young girl, Mary Margret. Her father noticed that her grades were improving and insisted he should meet with me. Her father turned out to be a huge mob boss. My family's fortune was slowly crumbling, so when he suggested, to my mother, that we get married she sold me off like a common street whore." Her voice was filled with resentment, hurt and anger. "That night, Daniel and I packed our bags and we were going to elope. Mary Margret came by to give me a thank-you card and when she saw what was happening she ran away. She was under the impression I was going to be her new mother. I ran after her and asked her to keep it a secret, she agreed. But then when she got back to the house my mother must have manipulated her in to telling because when I came down from my room I heard a gunshot." Regina stiffened up. It wasn't a gunshot, but it may as well have been. Death is death, and even in this alternate universe she was constructing her pain was real. The stories and events may have bene faked, but the raw emotion and desperation in her voice was so very real. "My mother said it was a drive-by, intended for her and Daniel got caught up in the middle of it, but of course I knew the truth."

Dr. Cohen was thankful she was not facing Regina because her jaw dropped. She could not fathom the words that just came out of the woman's mouth. She gave herself two seconds before she continued.

"And then what happened?"

"Then my mother forced me to marry a 55 year old man at the tender age of 20." She couldn't possibly say 18; there were certainly laws against that in this realm.

"And how was the marriage?"

"Marriage?" she scoffed. "That was hardly a marriage; it was a desecration of the whole institution. It was a business deal; I was a hooker that got a ring. The sex was hardly ever consensual. He would come in the middle of the night and take what was rightfully his." She choked on the last part of her sentence. The memories of a drunken Leopold coming in to her room in the middle of the night flooded her head. This was painful, but she supposed that was the point of this kind of therapy, to find out what was really wrong. After a pregnant pause, Regina broke the silence.

"I think the part that hurt the most about that is that I would have given myself to him willingly if he had just asked. If he had put even the smallest amount of effort, it would have made it easier." She whispered. This was something Regina never admitted to herself, let alone out loud. As much as Regina despised Leopold, her young self craved love and affection. She wouldn't even have minded the moaning of Eva's name, she could have dealt with that, if only he had asked, if only at the end of it all he would have said sorry, sent her flowers, or something- anything. She knows now that that's not love, but at the time she would have accepted anything. She let out a dry laugh. "You know we never actually kissed? I remember one night, I tried to kiss him. I thought if maybe I would show him some affection, make him see that I was a human and not just some object, maybe then he would ask. But of course, things never go according to plan. He was enraged and told me never to do that again."

"How did you deal with being in that situation?"

"I wanted to drown my step child." She laughed. "I blamed her for getting me in to the situation. I had a lot of misplaced anger. I wanted nothing more than her demise; I wanted to inflict psychological pain so intense that she would beg for me to kill her." Ironically, she did eventually did, but Regina decided to keep that to herself.

_Hurt masked as anger. _"How did you get over that?"

_I tried to kill her, and when that failed I cast a horrible curse._ "It took years. I went out of my way to make her life miserable. I really only got over my anger when I began to mend the relationship with my son. By forgiving me, he taught me about forgiveness and redemption. I wish things would have gone differently with Mary Margret, but I was in no mental state to forgive during the duration of my marriage. I was in a constant state of anger, and she was always there to be on the receiving end of it."

"How long were you married?"

"10 years. But the abuse only lasted the first 5. Afterwards I took my mother's advice. The only solid piece of advice she had ever given me. The irony is helped me get out of a mess she put me in."

"What was her advice?"

_Form a personal guard; let the people know where the new power lies._ "I began to make connections of my own, I got close to the inner circle. He couldn't touch me after that."

"So what happened to him afterwards?"

"I had him _taken care of_."

_And that was that; control, but also a desperate need for love and acceptance_. Cohen was beginning to see where this was all coming from, it was nurture.

Regina let out a heavy sigh. The rush of emotions was suffocating her.

Sensing Regina's hesitance to continue, Dr. Cohen decided to end the session. She knew Regina's mask would be up again tomorrow at full force, but it was okay. This poor damaged woman needed time. If she was being honest with herself, this was one of the hardest cases she had dealt with. It was a mystery this woman could get out of bed in the morning, and she had just heard the beginning. "That's enough for today."

noticed a pattern in the way Regina dealt with things; the initial hurt took the form anger immediately, then once she had time to cool down Regina felt the intensity of the hurt. She let her feelings ferment until they transformed in to resentment. She saw that happen with the woman's outrageous hatred toward a child. That resentment eventually took the form of anger again, more specifically wrath. That's what lead to the eventual death of her husband. Regina needed a way to break the cycle and deal with her hurt immediately instead of letting it transform in to anger.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Ruby woke up excited to attend her art class. It was day 4 and she was already in love. There was no way she would ever be able to repay Regina for her kindness. She knew Regina thought she owed her something, but the truth was Regina helped Ruby chase away the darkness.

She called upon her memory to remind her of the night she opened up to the Queen. She had never met someone who she could open up to like that. Regina had no judgement in her eyes. Part of her felt like it was because the monarch had done far worse, but she knew deep down inside it was because Regina knew how she felt. It's easy to give in to the dark side when you feel alone because it provides you with comfort. It's nothing like the comfort love provides, but it's a constant, something that latches on to you and stays there; a dark version of unconditional love. She had never thought of it that way until the Queen spoke about it like that.

Moving on to happier thoughts, Ruby couldn't wait to experiment with water colors. Regina had placed her in an intermediate class instead of beginners, and much to her surprise she caught on quickly. After class she would be able to call Regina.

When class was over, Ruby took a moment to stare at her art. Something about it felt so right. She finally had a proper outlet.

She hurried back to the hotel, painting in hand, and waited by the phone for Regina's call. Not too long after, she heard the phone ring.

"Hey!" her voice was filled with enthusiasm and excitement

"Hi." Regina responded flatly.

Ruby composed herself after hearing the dryness of Regina's voice. "How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. Not sure this whole therapy thing is for me though."

And there it was. Regina probably thought she said too much, and now she was shutting her therapist out. At least she was consistent in her bullshit.

"Regina, there's a reason we ventured out to the middle of nowhere. Your secrets are safe with her."

Regina was shocked that Ruby knew what was bothering her. They had grown close these past months, despite the constant state of being intoxicated.

"How was art class, and have you texted Henry?"

"Mills, don't change the subject."

"Fine. I'll go back, but only once more. Now answer my questions." She snapped

"Jeez, the lack of alcohol is really getting to you. Art class is wonderful, thank you so much. I worked with water colors today and created a masterpiece."

Regina felt her heart swell with pride, she wasn't quite sure why. "I can't wait to see it. And Henry?"

"It's been all small talk, just like you said. His group project is going well and I sent him those pre-recorded pictures we took."

"Thank you."

"Regina, hang in there."

That night Regina missed Robin more than ever before. After her overly emotional escapade with her therapist, all she wanted was to be in Robin's comforting arms. It also reminded her why she came to therapy in the first place, she didn't want to depend on Robin for her happiness, and she didn't want to bring old emotional baggage in to a new relationship. She wanted to be whole for herself.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Regina took Ruby's advice and hung in there. Her next sessions were less productive, although she did divulge information about Cora and the emotional abuse she endured as a child. Little did Regina know, today, day 7, would be the day she would break.

"Talk to me about the rough patch with Henry."

Regina stiffened up. "There's not much to say. He found out about me, and my past, found Emma, and resented me for a while." she let out a defeated sigh "with good reason."

"How did that make you feel?" She asked

"I know why he did it. He had every right to. I tried my hardest to love him, and give him the best life, but my past was tainted, and no child should have to live with someone who has committed the crimes I have. I understood why he wanted to go with Emma, she's his mother, she's less damaged, kinder, more empathetic. I learned tough love from my mother, I never had a good example, and there were times I feared I was becoming like her which is why ultimately I let him go. That was my first step towards change."

"You didn't answer my question Regina, how did you feel?"

"I just told you I understand." She huffed

"Let me rephrase. When all this was happening, how did you feel? I'm talking about the little picture, not now when you can look at it as a whole."

Regina felt a lump in her throat begin to form. She tried to school her features as best as possible, but her lips began to quiver.

"It hurt." She divulged with a shaky voice. She placed her hands over her mouth and widened her eyes at the embarrassment of her confession.

"Go on, Regina."

The stubborn Queen closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. I had no right to feel that way."

Dr. Cohen did something very out of character and got up from her seat to sit at the edge of the couch to face Regina. The woman in front of her had been faced with impartiality and professionalism her whole life. Her mother and husband both treated her with apathy. This woman needed to be spoken to like a person, not a patient.

"Regina, feelings can't be good or bad, it's what you feel. There's no need to be embarrassed. You have every right to feel what you do. It's not going to get better if you don't let it out. Now I'll only ask you one more time; how did that make you feel?"

"It destroyed me." She whispered between sobs. Tears began to cascade down her face and reached for the box of tissues strategically placed at the corner of her desk.

"I know I wasn't the best mom, but I tried, and I love him so much." She stifled between sniffles. "He was the one who brought me out of the darkness, and I still wasn't enough. I'm never enough. No one's love for me has ever been unconditional until Robin came along, and look how that turned out."

Regina wasn't sure which was causing her to cry more; the guilt of her confession, or the fact she still felt that way, never being good enough.

Dr. Cohen was confused at when she heard the name Robin, Regina hadn't mentioned him before. But they would deal with that tomorrow, tonight they would deal with Regina's low self-esteem and feelings of rejection.

Once Regina's sobs had subsided she continued. "He wasn't wrong, I was a bad person, but I did love him. Like I already said, children at that age, they only see things and black and white, and to Henry I was all in black. The people he placed in white weren't perfect- they aren't perfect. And I was placed in black, with good reason, but I wasn't all black, I had my love for him but that didn't count for anything. Later I tried to change for him, and it was hard, I slipped couple of times. Everyone's love for me has always been conditional. As long as I was _good_, everyone loved me; my mother, my mentor, my step-daughter, my husband, and eventually my son. His version of good wasn't corrupt like the others, his version of good was _good_, but in those moments all I felt were the disappointments of my past."

After replaying the words in her head, Regina once again felt the need to defend her relationship with her son. "I love Henry, I always have, even in those moments. We're okay now. I knew he was right."

"Regina, there's no shame in admitting someone hurt you, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Now, tell me about the people mentioned, what was good with them?"

Regina fixated her gaze upon the corner of the room as she took a moment to evoke her memory.

"With my mother good was doing exactly what she said. With Gold, my mentor, bad was being good. Finding my rage and using it to motivate myself, that was me being good. Both my mother and Gold aided in the hardening of my heart. My mother said love was weakness, my mentor said to focus on nothing but the unmitigated rage." _Love is weakness Regina. It feels real at the start, it always does, but eventually it fades. But power, true power, well- that lasts forever._

"Marry Margret?"

Regina let out a dry laugh. "She is perhaps the most frustrating out of them all. She has a child-like mentality and continuously failed to see that the lines of good and bad are blurry. Although, recently we had a discussion about it and she's matured. But before that, her standards of good were based on fairy tales, she was a regular Snow White."

"And your husband?"

_Husband_, Regina repeated, her words filled with acid and hatred. "With my husband being good was keeping up appearances. With my _husband_ it was sitting at the breakfast table with my step-daughter, smiling and pretending I wasn't stuck in a loveless marriage. Going to social events and smiling, pretending I was happy. Best 10 years of my life." Dr. Cohen noticed she used dry sarcasm to hide the hurt, to hide what she thought was weakness.

"Regina, when I say weakness, what do you think of? What is the first thing that comes to mind?"

"Love is weakness." The phrase sounded robotic, like she had been brainwashed to think that way.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes." her tone was severe, but the moment of hesitance gave her away. "No. Maybe. I don't know." Regina took a moment collect her thoughts.

"Love is weakness; it makes you more vulnerable, you have more to lose. My mother was right about that. She was able to get to me by taking Daniel. Had I not had Daniel, she wouldn't have been able to manipulate me like that." Regina was deviating from what she first told the doctor, but it didn't matter anymore, she needed to get this off her chest. "But love is also strength. Henry's love and Robin's love gave me strength in a moment where I was powerless." She remembers the feeling of white magic leaving her palms, she owed that to them, to her love for them.

"So which one is it; love or strength?"

Regina looked in to the doctor's eyes. "Can't it be both?"

"That's for you to decide."

Regina nodded.

"Now." straightened up, regaining her air of professionalism. "Tell me about Robin."

**So that's it for this chapter. Sorry there's no outlaw queen, but Regina needs to work out her issues first. I promise they'll be reunited soon. Leave a review and me know what y'all think. Merci xx**


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